Brothas4lyfe.

Cccccrraaaigg dayyyyvid.

2006-06-25T19:22:00.000+08:00

WHICH SONG IS IT..................

Mmm yeah oh girl Mmm yeah oh yeah

We used to be inseparable, now the love has gone
That's the reason why, why you and I can't get along
And even though I knew what you had done to me
I never planned to cheat I guess both of us been weak.. yeah
Cards throw em down we been fooling round guess we're both to blame
Nothing to talk about girl it freaked me out the night you called his name
Mmm not coming home till the early morn' what am I supposed to say
Relationships are based on trust so with us it's obvious

Why don't we go our separate ways
Just realise we've nothing left to say
Neither of us wants to compromise
Too many secrets, jealousy and lies.

It seems that we been messing 'round ain't being straight
You say that we should work it out but it's far too late
Being honest girl when all said and done got some things to face
There's nothing left to lose but so much time to waste yeah
What's the point in playing playing games with me
We ain't gotta lie
You might as well just pack our bags and just say goodbye
Only human girl we both made mistakes but it ain't no use
I think we should call it quits cos we can't go on like this.

Why don't we go our separate ways
Just realise we've nothing left to say
Neither of us wants to compromise
Too many secrets, jealousy and lies

I don't even know why we've been tripping for so long
It's not like we both don't understand what's right from wrong
Seems like we cant get along no more so why don't we just go
Shut the door as there ain't no love here anymore?

Why don't we go our separate ways
Just realise we've nothing left to say
Neither of us wants to compromise
Too many secrets, jealousy and lies

********************************************************

Always said I would know where to find love,
Always thought I'd be ready and strong enough,
But some times I just felt I could give up.
But you came and changed my whole world now,
I'm somewhere I've never been before.
Now I see, what love means.

It's so unbelievable,
And I don't want to let it go,
Something so beautiful,
Flowing down like a waterfall.
I feel like you've always been,
Forever a part of me.
And it's so unbelievable to finally be in love,
Somewhere I'd never thought I'd be.

In my heart, in my head, it's so clear now,
Hold my hand you've got nothing to fear now,
I was lost and you've rescued me some how-.
I'm alive, I'm in love you complete me,
And I've never been here before.
Now I see, what love means.

When I think of what I have, and this chance I nearly lost,
I cant help but break down, and cry.
Ohh yeah, break down and cry.

Now I see, what love means.

Deliveration.

2006-05-07T19:26:00.000+08:00

I can be your savior, I can show you the way.

Just...come with me, into the deeper darkness, where I reside.

starwhores

2006-05-06T12:18:00.000+08:00

I've stepped into the dark side.

I desperately need a drastic change for the better in my life.

Someone please help me.

Please.

2006-04-26T02:27:00.000+08:00

Rules:
1. RED the following words that are true about you.
2. GREEN the things you wish were true.
3. add one thing true about you4. and then tag onetwothreefourFIVE more people.

I miss somebody right now.
I don't watch TV these days.
I own lots of books.
I wear glasses or contact lens.
I love to play video games.
I've tried marijuana.
I've been in a threesome.
I've been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes.
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm TOTALLY smart.
I've broken someones' bones.
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast/unclear.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
I like the way I look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have alot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have alot of friends.
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
Enjoy window-shopping.
I would rather shop than eat.
I don't hate anyone.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I've rejected someone before.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have made a move on a friend or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I have dated a close friend's ex.
I am happy at this moment!
I'm obsessed with guys.
Democrat.
I am punk rockish.
I am preppy.
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I can work on a car.
I love my job.
I am comfortable with who I am now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
Plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at MacDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went college out of state.
I like sausages.
I love kisses.
I fall for the wrong people.
I adore bright colours.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I don't know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers more than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongues in waves, much like a snakes slithers.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distraction.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I can't stand at LEAST one person I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex.
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie.
I have ridden an elephant.
I love chocolates!
I go to school NOT for the sake of lessons.
I can't ride a bicycle.
I feel crazy.
I love tomatoes!!
I like peanut butter on bananas.
I believe in Serendipity.
I don't wanna grow up.
Gaining weight is a wonderful thing.
I love listening to gossip.
I can eat as much as a guy.
I hate waiting; for the bus, for this, for that.

I wanna get outta here; start a brand new life.

FUCK

2006-04-01T12:41:00.000+08:00

FUCKING HELL.

maybe it's karma. maybe it's just my fucking luck.

my face has swallon up to the size of a basketball for some reason. the doctor said it was some kinda infection/growth on the lower right side of my cheek. xray shows it ain't cancerous thank god. i'm going under the knife this monday and i fucking hope i will be normal again, even if it means i have to sell my soul to the devil.

pray for me k =(

It ain't pretty.

hangover

2006-03-31T14:32:00.000+08:00

last night was again one of those nights you can't exactly remember what had happened.

it was also the first time i hurled from drinking in singapore. the previous 2 hurling-from-drinking incidents was brought complimentry by the magical city of HK.

there's a fine line between being floating-in-the-air kinda high and just plain can't-walk-straight drunk. i remember sitting down and everything was just spinning around so quickly. i closed my eyes and the spinning just got worse. not even weed got me that high. =(

but oh well it is alex's birthday after all. it's like a law to get wasted on birthdays. he was high as hell. everyone was high. and he got a 'lil some-some. anyway happy birthday man. it's all good.

i'll blog more coherently next time when i don't have a huge fucking hangover.

Damn. =/

2006-03-29T15:01:00.000+08:00

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh snap.

polidicks

2006-03-19T20:38:00.000+08:00

You know something is wrong when people in a foreign country are burning photographs of your country's "leader".

IMHO, Temasek should just withdraw their offer and apologize. But unfortunately "sorry" is a word that doesn't exist in the vocabulary of most Singaporeans. Also, it is a shame that you need people from another country to do your dirty work for you. Photographs should have started burning a long time ago. Right here in Singapore. By Singaporeans. Doesn't it bother you that just because of your mighty leaders' decisions, it is now completely unsafe to go to Thailand.

If this was Hong Kong 500,000 thousand people would have been demonstrating on the streets by now.

And the sad thing is, PAP would probably win the GE with a landslide victory.

Ima stop here before the PAP sues me and my whole family to bankruptcy.

tell me what's going on

2006-03-15T19:55:00.000+08:00

Time passes by faster than I can ever imagine.
Some times I wish I can be 12 all over again.
Carefree. No worries.

It's situations like these which forces us to grow up. =(

On a lighter note;

19th birthday

2006-03-12T18:57:00.000+08:00

A big thank you to everyone who took the time to wish me happy birthday. Was probably one of the best ones I had yet.

Dad flew back for the weekend and we all had a fucking good home cooked family feast with red wine and all for dinner. It's always great with family around. Just too bad my brother couldn't join us.

But after that it was when the real fun began. =(

Went over to DXO at Esplanade around 11pm where they had a semi-huge party going on. Good friend of mine who's a party organizer got us seats upstairs in the VIP room. Went there, sat down, and ordered 2 bottles of Chivas straight away for starters.

That's my birthday cake right there.

Pretty much just chilled in the VIP area and drank the night away. There was another group in the room and cause everyone was high we all just started drinking with each other and just had a jolly good time. The chicks weren't all bad. =( Wanted to go down and dance but it's mad packed and hot as shit. Was like a fucking mosh pit or something.

Thank god for VIP room.

Well we finally went down around 2am or some shit when it was less crowded. All I'd say is that I had a good time down there. =(((((( When I went back up to the room more drinks magically appeared and all I remember was just laughing and having a hell of a time.

The night pretty much ended like this :

Bottle-hogger.

Once again thank you to everyone who gave me a birthday to remember.

...At least now I have a nice memory to bring me through the next 5 weeks in boredom land.

'=('

Btw, if anyone is interested in madass parties, there's another party at DXO this coming Thursday. Even bigger and huger than this one. Drop me an email if you want tickets. I'll be again drinking my ass off in the VIP room. =)

1st week of ITP over.

2006-03-11T00:14:00.000+08:00

fuckkkkkkk yeah. so I had to rush to work today cuz it's a frickin' friday night right, and the whole of Singapore was like taking taxis. Got to work 2mins earlier and slacked there for about 30-45mins before starting my work again.

Again I got people from all countries coming and god how i love talking to them. Today the highlight really was this welsh couple(never talked to a welsh before) and they told me about their stadiums and shit and man it's just really awesome hearing about other countries. All the other workers just SELL the tickets and don't actually converse with the customers, HOW BORING. :(

There was some promotion about the sevens rugby thing right beside our booth and the company had like 2 mascots that looked like M&Ms and they were blue/white and green/white. Each of these mascots were accompanied by 2-3 girls(that literally looked 14-15 years old) and these girls were handing out flyers. So I was standing there selling tickets with Jessica, a girl that initially I thought looked a bit like a butch but she's the gf of one of the guys there hahaha. Anyway she's cool and we spent the night chatting with each other and helping each other/taking turns selling tickets and stuff.

Then you know I was just watching girls and guys and stuff and suddenly 2 of the blue uniformed girls pointed at me and decided to walk over. One was dark and one was fair, they both were pretty much chinese though. So one of them asked, "How much is the boat ride?" and in my head im like, "yeah fucking right u come here to ask me how much the boat ride is." but then I just gave them the usual explanation, $12.60 and it's a 30min ride and blahblah. THEN THEY START CHATTING TO ME. And I'm like kay...And then I was curious right, and so i asked how old they were, the fair one said, "I'm 12!"(and i thought she was fucking serious) so I'm like, "oh, i thought you were like 14 to 15." then she's like "what!!! i'm 18 okay!!" and in my mind im like "HOLY FUCK THIS BITCH IS NO WAY 18 SHE LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE KID." then they asked if I work there permanently and I'm like "nah just every weekday 6-11." then the aunty inside the booth scolded me cuz there was a customer and I seemed to not care cuz the girls were there. So I laughed at the aunty and the girls walked off, laughing at me. :( TOO FUCKING BAD FOR THEM I NEVER LOOKED AT THEM AGAIN CUZ THEY GAVE ME THAT STUPID GIRLY GIGGLE. YOU DON'T COME UP IN HERE GIVING ME THAT STUPID GIGGLE, ILL WHOOP YOUR ASS.

Then Jessica started making fun of me saying I have so much charm that 2 working girls would come up to me and chat with me and that they were so full of bullshit about wanting to know the price of the boat, like yeah right. Then she started telling the other workers that those 2 girls were gonna come back and ask for my number and i'm like, "hey, i have a gf k? even if they ask, or anyone else, im not giving anything...and you better not!" then we all laughed, but they knew i was serious. ;(

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THEN THE REAL REAL HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY CAME, THIS IS THE BEST PART OF MY DAY TODAY HAHAHAHAHAHA. =DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

So after the stupid girls left, I stood around foot-dancing to the music that was playing and outta nowhere, this girl in the restaurant beside us is standing up with a mic and is speaking in chinese. The basic translation is this, "blah blah me and my gf have been together for 7 years now...and we have been through a lot together, and she has done a lot for me, and i'm very much in love with her..bla bla (then a lot more cock, at this point a lot of ppl started gathering around the restaurant cuz c'mon, HE WAS TALKING THROUGH LOUD SPEAKERS IN THE MIDDLE OF CLARKE QUAY ON A FRIDAY NIGHT LOL).....WILL YOU MARRY ME?" oh god my heart just lifted and i sighed so deeply, joining in with the clapping, screaming and cheering. sigh, things that like are so touching, though it wasn't as sweet as how it COULD be, but that's not bad. however, for me, i'm gonna make mine such that only me and her are there, but it's gonna be the most romantic and sweet thing i've ever done in my life, and yes, i am capable of such feats! I am not all mean and evil. (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIU CHUNG. I WUB U BABY *MWAH* *MWAH* *MWAH* *HUGHUGHUG* Thanks for being the friend that I always needed. You were there when others wasn't, and I'll always treasure your friendship. I hope it continues this way and we remain friends for a long time to come.

Brothas4lyfe.

itp

2006-03-10T22:28:00.000+08:00

Everyday at work is like running a fucking mental marathorn.

It's been /slightly/ better and more bearable the past 2 days. But I'm not sure whether that's a good thing or not. It just means I'm getting used to the thing I hate, being stuck in an office 9 hours a day.

I'm not gonna bitch about how much my work sucks etc. cause it ain't gonna change anything. My dad has this saying that in life, you'll get lots of shit which you aren't gonna enjoy doing, but some times you just need to do them anyway.

Since either way I'll still be doing the same things, might as well do it with a smile. It's actually good that I have things to do. It keeps me busy and time flies when you're busy. I don't have to sit around and do nothing like my other job.

Oh and I am beginning to enjoy dressing up like a donkey. The shirt+pants look is growing on me. =(

4th day of work. (:

2006-03-10T00:14:00.000+08:00

So since I'm one that blogs about NICE THINGS only, most of the time, I'm gonna say that the past week so far has turned out rather eventful, especially at work, heh.

Last night jules wanted to get into licuid so krys draggged me down there and got him in then we rushed back to my place and thank god my dad was asleep cuz he woulda been s so mad. :( At least now after work he ain't all that bad and I kinda think he just forgave me, considering I told him I'd be sleeping at home for the next week hahaha. ;p

Anyway, yesterday I had work with chuan ming and man he was funny as fuck, talking and joking about japanese/korean girls and kinda jokingly competing to get japanese girls to buy our tickets. Like this group of 7 girls, I saw them and jumped from my seat but he ran right up to them and talked to them first so I playfully frowned at him and raised my arm up at him, showing a very bad and rude insult that little kids must never never do!

So the japs went away and 20mins later came back and ho-ho-ho I was the one standing there so they bought the tickets from me and i accompanied them to the boats hahaha, poor chuan ming was like oh-my-god-darius-i-hate-you! it's just funny la haha. hmms. I got a surprise bundabergs' root beer drink at like 10 which really rocked woohoo.

Now tonight I was posted at the esplanade. Like, the booth literally 20metres from the outdoor stadium, so if there are any bands or shit playing I can watch haha. =D o the view at esplanade is more localish yeah, it's not so many tourists and stuff, so the overall view isn't that...appealing. =XXX anywayyyyyyyy.....it's damn slack there la, I get $4/hour and I work 6pm-11pm but half the time I'm sitting around, doing nothing, reading a book, or the occasional chat to anyone that walks past! =D

The best thing about this job really, is the chance for me to go sit on the boats! I LOVE SEAWATER and sitting on a boat that goes on SEAWATER just drives me fucking craaaaaaaazy.

Wow I was just online and talking to an old female friend of mine, and she liked asked me for something, and I'm like "It's gonna cost you." and then she's like, "Oh really, what?!" And that's usually a VERY inviting and tempting question for me to respond something really cheeky like, "Oh baby you know what I want." or "More than you could ever offer me! :)" but then I just sat there stunned, my stomach churned and something just restricted me tight. So I was like, "well I'd usually say something more interesting, but...money." and she's like, "awww..." And then my stomach churned again and I felt like total shit.

God damn, chung, dude, I can't flirt anymore man. Not that I forgot how...All the ways to say things, whatever I say and how I do anything really is still there, but I just can't BRING myself to actually DOING it. Or when I DO, even MINORLY, my stomach churns like fucking crazy and I get to the point of nearly puking. It's so damn retarded, I'm a gemini yet I start feeling such intense guilt trips when the time comes. I'm sorry dude, I dunno if I can go out DDing with you, z. Maybe I can come help you out and shit, but I dunno if I can be my old self again with other girls anymore. All my flirt techniques, lines, style, methods and performance are all reserved for only one girl. :( As long as she keeps me interested, that is. ;)

If anyone out there wants to treat me and make me feel one of the best feelings of my life, get me on a speedboat and take me out into the ocean; letting me drive it or no, no difference, as long as I can see the vast ocean, the horizon, feel the cool ocean breeze, hear the sound of the water, and just take in and absorb the feel of seawater. *sighs deeply* It makes me love and appreciate the world no matter how shit it seems to be. (:

1st day ITP.

2006-03-07T01:34:00.000+08:00

Okay, fucking owned. So my ITP is to sell tickets at the bumboats over at clarke quay yeah? 6pm-11pm every weekday for the next 6 weeks. First let's talk about the bad: It's tiring, your feet hurt, and it sucks to get rejected when you ask people to take a tour and they say no.

The rest of the entry is gonna be why it rapes so hard. :)

So I turned up 545pm yeah and there's like 4 guys there. 1 overall IC guy who's 32 years old, name's David. Then the other 3 guys are just other guys that work there yeah. Well there was a girl and guy too but they worked on the other booths so I really didn't get to see them all night.

Anyway I'm like hi and one of the guys tells me how to promote the tour and how to tell people about it and shit, so I started and initially I was kinda fucked up and like wow this shit sucks......then I said to myself, "okay im gonna be stuck here 5 fucking hours a day for 6 weeks so im gonna make this...fun." I went to buy myself a 100plus and downed it. Soon as I did I rushed out with the flyers and kept asking these tourists to try the tour. Sure I got rejected a lot, but when I did I said, "Aight, have a good night!" and they ALWAYS smile and quite often they say, "You too." THAT ALONE MAKES IT WORTHWHILE.

But when they DO decide to sign up for the 30minute tour, it's even more fun cuz then I can actually engage in conversation with them. I had about 6-7 3-5minute conversations with groups of people or couples tonight, and that's cuz I started so late. Let's throw in a few examples:

This tour guide with 2 girls came and I was talking to her and she kept going, "see girls look! he has dimples! im so jealous!" and inside im all like "oh great, go away please." and then she goes on and on about it. (Okay, so that was the only irritating conversation.)

There was another one where these 2 women and 2 monks were waiting to buy the tickets. One of the woman was standing there looking at me and I smiled and outta nowhere she just said, "Where you from?" I was startled for a sec then gave her the usual reply blah blah and outta nowhere I blurted some chinese out and she's like "wah! ni ke yi jiang hua wen ah? wah fei cang li hai ah!" I'm like yeah whatever.

The REAL fun conversations were the ones with ABCs or english/americans/australians. Now THESE people have real senses of humor. Like this couple asked me if they could bring drinks/food on the boat and I was like yup. Then they went to buy a couple beers, they came back, and when they wanted to get on I was like, "I'm sorry guys but I can't let you take that on the boat cuz you didn't buy me one." with a VERY straight face. Hahahaha they found it hilarious and laughed about it so hard; sigh, making people laugh just makes one feel so good. They were waving to me even when the boat was moving off haha.

Another couple was gonna buy drinks and I teasingly asked them to and they were like, "I don't think you look old enough to drink!" and I'm like "WHAT?!?!?!" and they walked off laughing. We all knew we were joking though, so it was just fun.

Now on to WOMEN. :D This part deserves to go all in italics! =D

David, the 32yo IC, is married to a Singaporean woman and he has a 3yo son. He says he been working there 10 years and he's like, "You know ah, you'll love working here. Got women EVERYWHERE I tell you. Wah the japanese ah, a lot ah! I ah, I have gone out with the Japanese before lah, but I don't do hanky panky with them because I'm married." I'm like, "yeah well I have a gf" and he's like "SO WHAT! People married also go around play play, no problem la!" I just laughed it out...I don't think I'll consider what he said yeah? ha.ha.ha. ;p But really, I called my 'ic' a bastard, asshole, fucker, cheebye all, and they don't care haha. I can just wander around go buy drink go toilet and it's really slack. I just have to occasionally show as if I'm trying to get people to sign up for the tour. But really, it IS fun hahahaha.

Now apart from the fact that my station is *RIGHT BESIDE HOOTERS* and I can see the girls walking around in their tight skimpy white tops and tight orange shorts(if they can even be called shorts)....Clarke quay is just full of women! Now we're not just talking good singaporean women, we're talking TOURISTS!!! And apart from the tourists that come as couples, and are still kinda hot, there are those that come in GROUPS OF THE SAME SEX...FEMALE! =D I go up to them and I'm like, "Would you layyydies be interested in a relaxing boat tour?" with, of course, my infectious smile. hahaha. :D They said no. :(

But the BEST lady for me is the one that I hear every single night just before I fall asleep. *grins widely* ;)

irony

2006-03-05T21:33:00.000+08:00

Yesterday night I was partying hard at MOS.

Tomorrow morning I will be working a 9-5 office job dressed like a donkey.

fundamentals of flight

2006-03-02T19:41:00.000+08:00

So I had another weird dream today;

It was the last day of my examinations, final paper. Fundamentals of Flight. I arrived at Newton MRT station slightly earlier than normal, and before I actually got down into the station I see on the electronic board - Marina Bay: Arrived. Next train : 9 minutes. Wow fuck. So anyway I waited and got onto the train, hopped off at Raffles Places to transit (like 6 more minutes of waiting there).

By the time I got to.. I think it was Queenstown or something, it was almost 2pm, which was the starting time of my paper. I tried to comfort myself by telling myself that there's gonna be 10 minutes of reading time, so it was gonna be okay.

I finally reached Dover at around 2.05pm. Btw smard SP decided to put my last exam at T1A53, which was somewhat a walk away from the MRT station. So I rushed down the station like a mad queer and under the 2pm hot blazing sun, I fucking RAN to T1A. I checked my watch again, almost 2.10pm. I see the flight of stairs and without a thought I fucking RAN UP ALL THE WAY to the 5th level. The doors to the exam rooms were already closed and I looked at the seating plan pasted outside. I checked my seat number and entered the one where my number was.

I opened the door. Not a single fucking familiar face. Everyone was just kinda starring at me. The lecturers looked at me. I asked them whether this is the exam room for FoF and I showed them my examination timetable slip. "Oh your room is T1A53, on the other side of this building." Fuck.

So again I RAN MY ASS down to the first level, and RAN again up the opposing flight of stairs to the top floor. FINALLY I see T1A53. It was already 2.15pm or something. I opened the door and thank god I see my classmates already sitting down doing the paper. I was already panting and sweating like a dog at this moment and I went forward to put down my bag and take out my pencil case. I unzipped my bag open, pencil case wasn't there. Nope. Just not there. No pen, no calculator. Nothing.

Right in front of the exam room, everyone else writing happily away on their exam scripts, I let out a uncontrolled "FUCK!". 3 lecturers were there, but I just didn't give a fuck. Honestly I felt like giving up and just going home. I swear. Never felt so irritated/fed up/just plain FUCKED UP in my life before.

How's that for a nightmare? Btw this was no dream. Actually happened to me today. =(

Thank GOD one of the lecturers was nice enough to lend me a pen. I managed to do all the non-calculating questions and after which I sat there just twirling the pen, again wanting to give up 'cause like HALF the paper was calculations. Another lecturer sensed my misery and loaned me a calculator some 40mins before "pens down" time.

What an eventful day.

BMW 7 bitch.

2006-02-28T19:36:00.000+08:00

This is what my driveway looks like nowadays. Yeah my dad's da bomb with his new BMW7series wooooooooooyeah. When I get my license this April I am *SO* driving it out.

Old man.

2006-02-27T20:32:00.000+08:00

Well my post is kinda the opposite of chungs. My day today was actually a blessing, unlike chung's nightmare. But dude, a dream like that *HAS* meaning. There are 3 types of dreams:

1) Jumbled ones, that are just 'formatting' your brain and sorting your day out.
2) A display of a problem that your brain is trying to figure out. Whether or not you have to do something about it depends on the dream. Sometimes you don't have to do anything, your sub-conscious mind does it. But sometimes your conscious mind has to consciously take note of it and do something about it. (Like your medusa one.)
3) Premonitions. (Very seldom)

Your post displays #2, so go back and look into it.

Anyway on to my day. =)

After my really gay FM exam and after meeting my Liaison Officer for my ITP in March, I spent my last few coins on an ice cream and coke light and oreo. =p Then I went to the bus stop early to wait for my dad, even though he did not yet ask me to. So after writing a couple poems and listening to my mp3, this old man came ot sit beside me and asked me what bus he had to take to Bukit Panjang and I said I had no idea. I said maybe 74 to Bukit Timah then transfer bus somewhere else there.

After a little bit of conversation, I found out tha the was 60 years old, poor and his wife was dead. His daughter was married in Malaysia and his son married a woman in Singapore that, you know, 'talks a lot'. I deduced she told her husband to tell the man to fuck off or abandon...wait, I mean the FATHER, to fuck off. Wow, that was freaky. Anyway, so the son basically gives no shit about the dad because of his stupid wife. God, you hear stories about this all the time but when you see someone really affected by it, it's quite a shock. He then proceded to tell me that he can't ge ta job because of his age. They won't take him as a security guard because he's too old, but he managed to get a job at a food court...washing dishes, but starting NEXT MONTH.

So here he was with no money at all and was going towards his sister's house to reside. He had walked all the way from Commonwealth because his son had 'abandoned' him because of his wife. Yes, the one that kept talking so much shit about the father. I felt really bad, and wanted to suggest to him to give him some money but I didn't want to insult him. You know I can't go like, "Hey, want me to give you $5?" To a MAN, it's just not quite something you can do. He might almost even say, "What, you think I can't take care of myself? Who the fuck are you to put yourself in a position to GIVE me money?" So I jsut asked him very nicely, "So, how are you getting there then?" I thought this was the best and nicest way to put it, yeah.

Somehow he turned and had a really pleading look on his face, as if he wanted money. So I took out my wallet, checked my coins section(I had spent my last coins on the ice cream remember) and then unzipped the notes area and took out a $5, and say to him, "Here, you know where your sister lives right? Take a TAXI okay?" He took the money so happily but as he did, a receipt from my wallet dropped onto the floor and as I bent to pick it up, he grovelled at the floor and got it for me. I felt SO horrible. I dropped a receipt and a 60yo man was down on his knees picking it up for me. So I quickly lifted him up with my hands and said it was okay, and I thanked him for trying to help me. He started walking away, saying thanks, and as he did, the last thing I remember from him is that he turned to me, the most thankful smile on his face ever, almost half crying, and as he pointed at the money he said, "Thank you, when I get this I will pay you back."

I knew, of course, I'd probably never see him again. I knew that he knew he would never really pay me again, but that didn't matter. I didn't care. I don't even know now if that man was a bullshit artist and just said all that to earn money. But hey, I could have given him coins and asked him to take a bus. I told this story to my dad and he said, "It doesn't matter if he's a con artist or not. If he is, HE has to live with cheating your money. If he isn't, YOU have to live with the fact that you didnt help someone when you could have." Then my dad continued and said, "You were blessed today, you were given an opportunity to help someone. If you want you can get out of the car now and try and give any old man $5, and no one will take it from you." He also said, "Yes, you have helped him now, and he owes you one. Sometime, maybe not this lifetime, but sometime, he will have to pay you back, ESPECIALLY if he said it like that." And he finished off with, "I'm proud of you darius."

I think my dad is quite right with what all he said. I don't think I could ever have lived with myself if I hadn't helped that man today. I don't think I could have faced any mirror if I had ignored that man. Initially when he was talking to me, I wanted to get back to my poems and ignore him, but then he carried on and I knew, then, that there was a reason why I came out to the bus stop early instead of staying in the school food court.

To me, the $5 is a small amount of money, but to him, it could mean nearly the world. The story of his son abandoning him because of the stupid wife really touched me, and whether or not it is true, it doesn't matter because I know truely that to myself...

I did what I felt was right, and that's all that matters.

fucked up dream

2006-02-26T21:54:00.000+08:00

Back in Hong Kong when I was much younger I used to have quite a lot of nightmares. Not exactly nightmares but just dreams which are really weird. Some of them are so vivid that I can still remember till today.

One of them I was at a place filled with lava (which in my mind = hell) and I had to walk on flimsy bridges right on top of the burning lava. Kinda like in LoTR with the balrog except I had this dream more than 10 years ago. Another involved me flying along side my apartment block and estate at that time.

So as a kid I was plagued with frequent nightmares and as a result, I used to pray to God everynight to not let me dream at all when I go to sleep.

Call it a miracle or what, but since then I didn't really have anymore dreams and nowadays I very rarely have long detailed dreams and most of the time even if i do, i wake up the next morning and I pretty much can't remember anything. You know what it's like~

The previous "nightmare" which I had was like a year and a half ago? The one with the weed smokers and medusa which I blogged about. Anyway, last night I had another nightmare which fucking woke me up in the middle of the night. This is more or less what happened in the dream:

I was at a school quadrangle or something, a public place, open air, a few trees in the background. And it was around evening time when the sun is setting. I was not alone in the dream. Couple of my friends were there. Ian, Jasper and a couple of others who I knew was there, but couldnt really see/remember their faces. We were just kinda fooling around and laughing and then the "camera" focuses on a public toilet. It was like those kinda toilets you'd find at east coast park, where you can almost (and in my dream, completely) look into the toilet and see the cubicles. And one of the doors to a cubicle was opening and closing by itself. Opening and banging shut repeatedly to be exact. We all then realise there's something fucked up in the toilet (a ghost). And i even remember Ian saying in the dream, "Fuck I'm not going in there". So the group of us were just kinda standing outside the toilet looking at each other, sorta laughing and panicking at the same time. The next thing I know, I tried to be funny and with my back facing the toilet, I backed up onto the toilet door (not the cubicle door, the toilet suddenly had a door to it and it was like those you can push open) and I playfully pushed it open. Somehow after that I was sitting on the ground, right outside the toilet door with my hands still behind my back from the pushing. And then I see Jasper (he was facing me and the toilet) looking scared shitless and he says to me, "There's something in the toilet.. It's trying to come out.." So there I was, sitting right outside the toilet and even thou my back was facing the toilet, I could sense this ju-on type of motherfucker crawling out from the toilet towards me. I froze up and I closed my eyes. I then hear Jasper shouting "Don't!" and the next thing I know I'm inside the toilet, stuck with the motherfucker. That was when I woke up (violently, like in the movies when people wake up with a huge gasp) and was actually slightly traumatized by the dream.

Some people (e.g. Darius) say that dreams have meanings which reflect upon our reality. I highly doubt this nightmare meant anything, and it better not, but it still scared the shit outta me.

I look forward to not having bad dreams for another 1 1/2 years. =(

chung sux

2006-02-21T22:49:00.000+08:00

Chung dissed me 'bout mah previous post so imma just make this short'n'sweet. Aight so stayed home the whole day today basically. Well, my home in Katong. :( FARRRR SIAAAA. Haiz, anyways the day went seriously crazy at first, then called mcdonalds in and later on chung came over to 'study' for a couple hours but we ended up playing pool and fun-jamming haha. I'm so screwed for my QA exam tomorrow. I lost my notes and it is 50% of my entire module so blah, blah, I'm dead lala. I got my friendster profile slightly updated, uploaded a video and an audio so..yay. Gon' head to bed soon, needa rush to school early tomorrow and read a friend's notes for 30mins before the exam, ugh. I can't wait till March though, so many new things are gonna comeeee, wheee. =D

Btw, I spent at least $900 in the past 3 weeks. How, I have nooo fucking idea, but it's all gone. In any case, I'll say it was worth the experiences & feelings I got from it~

omg zing lolz

2006-02-19T15:17:00.000+08:00

I really didn't wanna post, cuz I nearly orgasmed when I saw blue text on my screen, but I gather he'll be posting again sometime soon so...word.

Fers toff I wanna say saw yo waaaadup mah chigga chung. He been gone wayyy too long, but now he back and we be bombin' this blog right up again fo sho. Mah man chung he be crazy but yeah he knows I got his back anytime, anyday yo; no worries bro, no worries, I'm geeelaaaad to be o' service. *nicca shake* R-E-S-T-E-C-P brotha~

Anyway the past few days have been crazy hey, crazy fights going on and off and unnecessary bullshit goin' down, but stil the shit goin' down in the hut ain't no lesser ya'all, she da bomb! Yeah so wazzat swensen's fri'night and had some banaaana spleeeitt till I choked it up. Anywho, stayed at kry's place fri'night and spent the wholla saturday 'studyin', or some shiiit or other. PS'S KFC for dinner and went home. Aight so the night went kinda wrong n'all, was real hard to sleep and shit but the next mornin'(today) we went ter 8am church. Just felt like hittin' it up wit' the Lord and praisin' him a couple times here and there yeah, you get what I'm sayin'? After the whole singin' and dang waz over yo we went blessin' our hands wit' holy water and felt the lovva God just spreeaad right through us man; it was like divinity yo.

After messin' around in the playground a lil' yeah we went back home and dangggg baby, my dad has this BMW 7 series and holy shit bro it's da BOMBBBB man. My dad be drivin' it round the country today goin' right up to 160k/hr on the dang PIE yo, he was fully messin' it up. Dang the controls on that tank is farrrout too eh? It's like a fuckin' aeroplane man, controls of the seats and GPS and the engine power is just craaaaazy dawg.

So yeah I was all bringin' it up to dad and shet right like,

"yo dad you gon' let me pimp ur ride when u buy this m'fucka?"
He kinda went nuts eh, all like,
"No, you are not driving this car. The insurance won't cover you you reckless maniac."
And I was all like,
"Yo dad man why you trippin' eh? If I pimp this ride I be ridin' 180 down the fuckin' freeway!"

Trust me, the conversation ended there.

Chair,Couch,Carpet,Bed? *tear*|

*LOVE*

I'm gon' head back ter bed now yo, needa rip it up.

hello.

2006-02-17T16:43:00.000+08:00

Today must be a historical day 'cause I have decided to start blogging again. I will not begin with my random mind-bloggling posts (those come later), but rather, a serious, sincere post about life, family, friends and featherless ostriches.

Let me first begin by shaaawing my main man D some rezpect. He's always be my homeboy and /the/ black brotha. Some times we's can get all busied up and shiit but this dawg never fails to be right there where he'd always been. Nigga appreciate. <3

Oh and he helped to retrieve my long-forgotten blogger ID.

So I was looking at old photos/videos and chat logs in my computer last night (there are some seriously funny shit in there that i'm pondering whether or not to post up), and once again I had that "zomg time flies" kinda feeling. Well it does. It's almost end of February and I bet half of you still write your date with a "2005". Hmm I do anyway. And on a really sleepy day with a "2004".

Well the point is that I think everyone should go live their life to the fucking max so that when we do look back a few years later, we can all go "wow that was some fucked up shit we did back then. hurhurhur". Stop wasting your lives man. I dispise life-wasters. Don't talk to me if you're one. If you desperately need help in doing something crazy you can give me a call. But then again my phone has this inbuilt function that filters out most guys and ugly people. '=)'

I did set several personal goals for this year, one of the more important ones being actually keeping my goals for the span of one year. I sincerely hope that everyone have goals and something to wake up to each morning.

Here's to 2005.

no wait.. nvm.

SURVIVOR !

2006-02-16T23:35:00.000+08:00

NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES:

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 4 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 4 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of "pretend" bills with not enough money.

In addition...each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist a ppointment, and an appointment for a haircut. He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keep it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

There is only one TV between them.

Each father will be required to know all of the words to every stupid song that comes on TV and the name of each and every repulsive character on cartoons.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, which they will apply themselves either while driving or making four lunches.

They must adorn themselves with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep their nails polished and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks, they will have to endure severe stomach cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly PTA meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

He will need to pray with the children each night, bathe them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair each morning by 7:00.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: *each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor.

*each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

They must clean up after their sick children at 3:00 a.m. and then spend the remainder of the day tending to that child and waiting on them hand and foot until they are better.

Each man will have to make an Indian hut model with six toothpicks, a tortilla and one marker; and get a 4 year old to eat a serving of peas.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance.

The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment ' s notice..

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years...eventually earning the right to be called Mother!

I just don't love you no more.

2006-02-15T19:17:00.000+08:00

For all the years that I've known you baby
I can't figure out the reason why lately you've been acting so cold
(didn't you say)
If there's a problem we should work it out
So why you giving me the cold shoulder now
Like you don't even wanna talk to me girl
(tell me)
Ok I know I was late again
I made you mad and dinners thrown in (the bin)
But why are you making this thing drag on so long
(I wanna know)
I'm sick and tired of this silly game
(silly games)
Don't think that I'm the only one here to blame
It's not me here who's been going round slamming doors
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.

[CHORUS]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

[VERSE 2]
I know that I made a few mistakes
But never thought that things would turn out this way
Cause I'm missing something now that your gone
(I see it all so clearly)
Me at the door with you in a state
(in a state)
Giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.

[CHORUS]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

[BRIDGE]
Don't say those words it's so hard
They turn my whole world upside down
Girl you caught me completely off guard
On the night you said to me
I just don't love you more.

[CHORUS 2X]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

it hurts and it aches,
my entire soul it takes,
so afraid my body shakes,
my smiles are all fakes.

CNY over.

2006-02-13T10:10:00.000+08:00

kay i can barely remember wtf i did all week so i'm just gonna say hi first; not to mention i have peiyu, joey and jia wen here beside me and we're ready to go for our consumer behavior presentation bleh. finally the project is over and won't have to bet hinking about it anymore waha!

uh last i blogged i was sick and all right, well i missed school on thursday so i asked dad to take me to the family doctor(his friend; then again, who isn't?) at night, got some weird medication and then i was like, "uhm, can i get an MC?" with my cheeky huge grin =D and he's like, "ah ha, so the real reason is out!" bleh, doctors are smart nowadays. but who cares, i got my MC, and my day off school. =D

OH YAH, now i remember... i skipped school on thursday cuz SOMEBODY made me. >:( but then we watched a local film called 12 storeys for my film aprpeciation exam on friday, so that was a good think i s'pose. *choke* damn i just choked on my medicine. shit.

.
.
.

ok, better. uhm, so yeah spent friday morning finishing upt he projects and completed my 1hour50min, 500-800 word film appreciation exam essay in 35mins with 728 words wahahah. first to leave the class. z. oh angela is here, hi! there's some drama going on and peiyu is getting all excited. hmmm.

eh, uh, stayed over on friday and that was one of the craziest 12hours of my life, heh.heh.heh. lala my stomach hurts now ahhh...damn pills. >.< someone just smsed me... oh, it's you. why am i not surprised. =D ill reply you after im done blogging. ;p

saturday was supposed to go out with someone for lunch, but i kinda called it off cuz it just didnt feel all that right, and i really didnt quite want to, anyway. so stayed in bed till like 3:30pm on sat, watched jarhead at PS at 4:20pm. lol jarhead is so retarded, but cool as well. it really shows how the army and war is like; i mean c'mon, the fucker doesnt even get a chance to shoot his rifle and kill anyone after practicing for months and months on end. =/ anyway after the movie we went to the toilet, then rushed to the 6:50pm movie to watch match point and OH-MY-GOD i swear 'm gay cuz of jonathan meyers. :D:D:D for one i loveeee the irish accent, and although he's not exactly gorgeously drop-dead-eeeee-hothothot, the way he acts and talks is just so...composed, relaxed, and one look at him and you know he knows what he's doing. not that i'm not like that myself, or so people say, but he has the irish accent that i soooo wish i could imitate; but i cant. =((((( *tear*

after the movie ate thai express yummm green curry chicken hahah. i used to only ever eat thai with my mum, now i guess i have another person i can eat thai with heh. =D my left hand feels so empty.... =/

sunday morning went to church.
.
..
...
....
.....
YES, I DID GO TO CHURCH. SHUTUP IM NOT LYING. SHUTUP IM NOT JOKING. IM SERIOUS OKAY. Anyone that reads this is so not gonna believe it but you better believe it, and you better believe that I'm gonna start going more often. I don't know why, I just suddenly feel like going to church more often. Maybe it's cuz I feel like I've been a sinner and I feel I want forgiveness and want God to assure me that it's all okay, even though I might be doing things that could be totally unforgivable. :) *gasp* unforgivable sinner was playing in my mp3 this morning. dingding. wheehee.

decided not to add in any attitude with this blog, just wanted to type it out quick cuz i gotta rush to my presentation and pray that it goes well. but for 3mins each it should be okay i hope. in any case all my projects are over after this and i just gotta focus on my exams. =/

god i hate that word. anyway ill finish up quick. sunday(yesterday), raphael bought us all chicken rice and it costed only like what, $50 for 7 people? jesus. then my dad decided to buy us dessert and it costed over $70 rofl. yup, $8/ice cream with +++ in a restaurant = not funny. =) went home and completed my project, but then my net fucking died on me which is really pissing me off. ill have to send it i nto simlim this afternoon cuz i have so much stuff on it i need to do, argh. not to mention i havent played DA or WoW in a damn long time and all my DA friends are getting mad at me for not logging on haha. aight gotta reply a sms then practice a bit more and get to my presentation.

CHUNG BLOG YOU STUPID GOLDEN DONKEY. *spanks ass*

bleh, sick.

2006-02-07T20:57:00.000+08:00

Well every since just before/during CNY I've developed a slight little cough outta nowhere, don't ask me how. But it's been getting worse and worse each day and today it just got so much worse. I lost my voice, basically. I talk with a really hoarse voice and my throat feels like i have a 9" dick stuck down it. No, don't laugh, it's not funny.

Apart from that, my appetite seems to have disappeared, and shoving food down my throat feels like someone's shitting in my mouth.(not that I would really know how that feels, I'm just imagining.) My stomach is giving me problems by growling and roaring as if it's hungry, even though I'm not. And it's twisting and shaking like how you feel just after a breakup, even though I'm not going through one.

Dad says I have a fever, and he offered to take me to the doctor tonight, but I said no. So instead he offered me some chocolate cake and I was more satisfied with that and went on nibbling it for a long time. If I still feel shit tomorrow then I'll let him take me to the doctor. >.<

I've lost my ability to be humorous, lost my ability to laugh(when I laugh it hurts my throat), lost my ability to bring up smart/witty comments, so right now I'm just avoiding communicating with people because I don't want people viewing me as a downright boring person, which I am now, but not usually. I feel like sleeping all day, in fact today I didn't go to school and stayed at home lying in bed all day, asleep only 75% of the time and coughing the rest.

Oh did I mention how much it aches my throat each time I cough? And let's not forget the yellow/green phlegm that pours out each time I do an old-singaporean-uncle spit into my sink.

Now that's ONLY THE BEGINNING. The main bulk of it all is that suddenly my asthma has come back to me. I used to have asthma as a kid, and in fact nearly died of it as a baby, but previously when my asthma came I just kept exercising and because I was such a sports freak in my younger teenage years, it somehow managed to rid my body of my asthma and the only time I ever did get a slight asthma was when I laughed wayyyyy too much, even then it was only minor.

But noooo, a few days ago, my asthma suddenly hit me and thank God my sister and dad noticed the symptoms and my sis has her asthma puffer on her. God I might have fainted if she didn't have it on her. =/ And then yesterday in the morning I had another sudden attack, and I just lay in class like a dead corpse, before skipping school in the afternoon and dragging myself to go do a lil' shopping. So thank God I always carry my asthma blowjob thingy with me in my schoolbag in case this kinda shit happens to me in school. =/

It's so weird cuz I thought I totally rid myself of asthma but somehow this cough triggered it again and it's driving my body systems crazy. Ah, fuck. I haven't gotten really sick in ages and whenever I do, it's only for a couple or few days. This has lasted well over a week and it's only getting worse. Maybe it's all my recent late nights and 2-3hour sleeps everyday? *shrug* I'm going to go to sleep now and try to get 8hours in.

Oh wait, did I also mention that this week I have 3 projects and 3 tests? Fuck.

CNY CNY

2006-02-02T15:09:00.000+08:00

okay so chinese new year in malaysia(KL) was kinda fun. i mean, meeting cousins/uncles/aunties and shiz. teddy's grown up, ivan's still a little pest and jeremy is just 1 huge chunk of blob. =/

in any case, played mahjongg and won 64ringgit wooo. we went shopping and spent like 1000ringgit in a single shop alone, which was hilarious as hell haha. =p

the clubs there looked pretty awesome too, especially this one called the beach house which had a shark tank in the middle of the club lol.

oh shit, why am i even blogging when my test is in 1hour and i barely know wtf it's about. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz gg irl, i need to get my life back on track.

wait, i just need to go home more.

Siu Chung Where Art Thou ?!

2006-01-25T22:16:00.000+08:00

Oh Siu Chung, my dear Siu Chung, where have you gone? Dude seriously lol, blog. :( Like, at least once every uh, 3 months? =(

Anyways I'm going up to Malaysia this weekend with my dad, karina and natalia to meet my grandparents, cousins, uncles, aunties etc; Hopefully going up with the people I love most in this world will help me forget the past few confusing days. Argh, it just hurts more, and there isn't really any need to.

Have you ever thought of something so much that it hurt? Like, you were gonna go sing in front of 1000s of people as a superstar and you were really nervous about your performance. You get all excited about it knowing that it's coming in a few months. For the next few months up until the time the performance day arrives you can do NOTHING and WANT to do NOTHING but think about the performance. The more you think about it the more excited you get, but then it comes to a point where you think about it SO MUCH...that it hurts? It starts to frustrate you that you're not already performing there and not already doing what you're so excited to do?

It kinda sucks....

However,

when the time of performance OR performances(assuming you have subsequent ones after that)...life is bliss, life is perfect, life is just...

crystal clear.

Momo + crazy weekend

2006-01-22T17:33:00.000+08:00

So Thursday night I went down to Momo and watched some fashion parade cum mr/mrs SNAG competition shit, really lame and the winners weren't even hot; but whatever. Watched the band perform and they did much better here than before, most probably cuz of the sound system and small enclosed area but yup.

After the fashion show was over danced in the center of the whole place on the highest platform thingy dancing clubstyle, hip-hop, dirty, poppin', you know the usual thing with a topping of funk. These 5 guys were like trying to dance on the platform as well, and that whole situation was funny and then they started doing footwork on the floor and I was like totally giggling at them and just as I was about to go join them and make friends, they left. :( lala.

Trying to rush this post cuz I'm really tired and I needa rest a lil' so uh, after that I slept over at duku and the next morning woke up, went crazy and rushed to SP for my film appreciation project which was real messed up. Like I so didn't know what to present so I just threw in my slight charm and breezed right through the presentation, z. Took MRT to town after that and walked around taka uh, buying weird shit and making keys and bla bla. Got a bus down to PS and hung around there for a lil', played VS2 again HAHHA.

Siu chung: Dude I was like so trying to play VS2 again but I kept fucking up like mad, it's so fucking retarded to play now lol. I kept winning like 3-1 2-1 3-1 4-1 unlike the previous 7-1 8-1 bullshit. =((((

anyways, watched In Her Shoes then rushed home and slept.

Saturday morning went to the dentist, which is a hellcool dentist cuz it's like on the 14th floor of a building somewhere in town. Posh as shit but this hawt dentist tried to get me to polish my teeth and I'm like yo wtf my teeth are white enough and she's like no they can be better and im like NOT $900 BETTER.

z.

saturday kinda stayed at home really, just taking another one of those days off and shiz. ate pizza at night and i still have like leftovers that i might just heat up when i'm done with this and go to eat. =D

sat night was wild though really haha. one of the best nights by farrrr...z.

today? ah today i can't blog about. ;D my afternoon is secret. *huggles the world*

rofl

2006-01-19T15:06:00.000+08:00

man my class guys are getting more and more hilarious every single day, especially fucking Moore.

So yeah it seems like Moore is like a real hardcore cheena geek and all yeah but, well, yes he is, but he's at least a decent one. God but recently he's been coming up with some SERIOUSLY LAME, but because it's so lame it's fucking hilarious, jokes. He comes into class and asks us guys a question and then when he replies we're all silent for like 5seconds then we laugh and go, "wah lao ehhhh...fucking lameeeee sia, hahaha." mmm.

Natalia came back 2 days ago but she just left this morning to go to Thailand for some crazy lil' escapade holiday of hers again haha. *shakes head in disbelief* That's my kinky lil' sister for you, oops.

Almost decided on my job for the ITP. I might for the real serious Marketing one where I can actually learn some real shit or I might go for the real fun one at Clarke Quay, where I can meet lots of tourists and do one of the things I enjoying doing most; meeting and interacting with new and different people.

Hmmms, I've started working out again lately, bah, not so much cuz I want to, but because I need to cuz my boss has been pressurising me to do so and I won't make it if I don't get into serious shape. I mean c'mon, I love myself right now as it is. My soul, my mind, my personality, my body, everything! But that's not really enough for the fashion world is it? *sighs* Oh well, at least I'll be more sexy. -grin.

Meh, I'm in lab now and people are msging me on msn......FROM MY CLASS. What total geeks lol. I'm so not paying attention even though the teacher said what he's teaching today is "gonna be tested in the CA2 and is VERY important." Like,whatever.

These girls in class that are continuously calling me 'gayboy' is starting to get slightly annoying. No, make that, REALLY annoying. I used to play along, laugh, but right now I'm starting to just ignore them. I mean, uh, they say "gayboy" like there's something wrong with being gay. What, discrimination against homosexuality? I don't approve of ramming other guys's asses but hey, I don't go around calling straight men gay on a daily basis.

Wooo Moore just asked Mr...wtf is his name? a question; I feel so left out. *cry* I'm kinda bored so maybe I'll just write a poem here on the spot. Hmmm, what should I write about? I'll ask Moore for an object..."Apple."..."Little Apple." I'm like "what the fuck?" He goes, "Ah, must put little." Okay, fine, so little apple.

There was once a little apple,
if only he knew he'd soon be zappel,
(i'm stuck here, there's like nothing to say about a fucking apple) ((er, little apple))
if only he could use his little brain,
becoming a drink he might refrain!

Now to ask joyce for an object..."Living or dead?" lol what a dork. "Anything la joyce." *thinks for 20seconds more* "Clock." Wow, that took a lot of effort.

Wasup dawg, check out mah new clock,
it's da bomb, it's what the girls dig,
got high-tech shit and even a lock,
it gets me girls, both small and big.

Ugh, yes, very very bored. Now let's ask for ONE LAST ONE.....Angela, maybe? ..........................WHY IS IT SO HARD TO GET SOMEONE TO GIVE ME AN OBJECT.

Me: "Angela, give me an object."
Angela: "What object?"
Me: "Any object."
Angela: "What kinda of object?"
Me: "Oh my god just anything la."
Angela: "Har?"
Sameer: "Can I give one?"
Me: "No."
Angela: "err. Your watch."
Me: "Eh? Ok thanks." zz.

I wonder if my watch is a sexy gorgeous female,
shiny, looks great, but it's fucking not working,
outside she looks hawt but in bed she's a snail,
what the fuck I was just accused of flirting?

Sorry that was abrupt, this bitch said i flirt,
it's how I look, carry myself, and how I act,
i'm just not typical, like the usual guy dirt,
when in love, there's only one, and that's a fact.

argh.

2006-01-15T16:05:00.000+08:00

bleh the acheing of someone being away from you really hurts sometimes.

*sits up straight, arranges seat and breathes in deeply* Okay, so gonna talk about my beautiful weekend, yup.

So Friday I went to poly and went for lectures like the good lil' kid I am yeah, then went to Film Appreciation in the afternoon and that went by kinda fun, watching movies. But that reminds me, I gotta meet my groupmates in the main library on tuesday, ah fuck that's gay. I hate the main library, z. Meh, anyway after that I went home, tried sleeping until krys called me and asked me to come out now so I rushed quickly and ended up waiting 1hour40mins lala.

Hmms, burger king at city hall was fun. -grin. Helped her choose a cute lil' b'day card for her bro and went back home.

Night passed quite quickly...Lots of conversations and such. Then Sat morning came and woke up at like what 6am, arghhhh, but that was kinda interesting and quick too haha. Bla bla went to republic poly for their openhouse and basically stayed there till like 3pm. God RP is like totally huge yeah, though not as huge as SP but it's modern as shitttttt man. I was like wtf this place is nicer than the esplanade lol. Yeah but it's all the way in Woodlands so that's just totally stupid, whatever.

Listened to the band that played for the openhouse and although the singer forgot lyrics a couple times, let's not be typical and just criticise yes? Let's look more on why it was good rather than bad. Their lead guitarist was cool and composed, it looked like nothing could phase him. The drummer was a chick, and she was hawt as hell(not her looks, just the way and what she played) but the best bit of it all really was the keyboardist. I dunno, just the way she stood there playing right, there was this sense of I don't know what that kinda drew me towards her. *shrugs* Maybe cuz I found her really hot and when she stood there playing the keyboard it just made me giggle to myself thinking of how it'd be like to be right behind her while she played. *laughs loudly*

So after the whole RP thing krys and i went to uhm, mos burger in causeway point? Yeah. Ate there then walked around and came to this shop named PINC and dude it wasn't funny. It was so crazy I swear. It's a manucure shop right, and it was decorated ENTIRELY pink. Like, 100% totally totaaaal pink, and when we stepped in, there was this aroma, no wait, not aroma, more like a stench of nailpolish and I nearly fainted(not in a good way, as I usually do) and died right there right then.

After that minor ordeal, got a MRT all the way to Bedok again, spent the evening talking and then went downstairs for David's birthday, which was kinda interesting listening to all these adults talking dirty, but less than I am fully capable of. *shrugs* It just sucks I have to refrain myself so much because of the people around me, and be only as open as they are so as not to offend. BLAH.

After that got a cab to east coast park's macs and then went back homeeeee and slept. lala i slept on the lower bunk bed and had a damn nice shower when i woke up, with benefits. ahaha. -shy.

'eh, so today went by kinda fun as well with dad for lunch and all, but now it's back to reality and the joyful weekend...is over.

I have so many things I need to do within the next few weeks, so many such that I can't even remember them all.

Spanish lessons are starting, mum is damn pushing me so hard to finish learning it, grrr. My boss wants me to get in shape, but I'm such a lazy bitch and can't be bothered ahaha. But I have to lah, this is serious shit. Bleh. Hmmms, projects coming, uh wait, projects are UNDERWAY and I have a FM(Financial Management) test in less than 2 weeks. And we all know how bad my FM is so...gluck to me. Then I gotta decide on a job to do during the March holidays for my ITP, and this and that ahhhh...

I've lost my mood to blog now; hell, I've lost my mood to do anything at all. -misses

2006 word up

2006-01-12T21:28:00.000+08:00

*jumps happily into the air and back down again*

So I skipped school today. Well, not really, it was like SB day so we kinda had it off but uh, I was like nah I can't be bothered going. For some reason I was reaaaal exhausted and I really just wanted a nice quiet day to myself. I've been out with people quite a lot this week and just didn't really have lots of time to *myself*. I mean c'mon, people need that every so often yeah? So today I decided this was gonna be a nice quiet time at home alone. :D

Dipped my feet in my nearly over-flowing pool while it was raining. *shivers* yes, yes, it was somewhat cold, but I love the cold and so I was real happy. =) After my feet were nice and wet I walked into my garden and stood all over the soggy grass and then I started jumping up and down shouting random words to myself hahaha. *laughs* That's the good thing about having a whole big house to myself I guess. I can run around do whatever I want and be as loud as I want. *grin*

So I was all drenched and shit and when I was content with my release-of-tension-and-anything-else-i-have, I went back inside and took a looooong bubble bath totally naked(duh). Yum, I love bubble baths, wahahha. After that I did a couple in-room exercises(damn boss has got me going on this strict routine, argh.) and then I was so exhausted I lay on my bed and fell asleep with my window open...while it was raining! :D

When I woke up I was like uh wtf I have a headache. yeah, happens when I sleep when it's hot, *shrug*. friend called later on and asked me to go out and im like wth for and he's like omg i need help but im like no fuck off this day is MY day and MY day only! I give myself to other people more than enough!

Ah, a look into one of the most valuable days of my life. The days where I relax my mind, body and soul to maintain myself and my composure throughout the rest of my days. And then the day comes when I feel I may think too much, comes another day like that of today. *sighs happily* A lonely day, a quiet day, a day that I treasure more than anything else; when I need it. *grin* I mean c'mon, this weekend's gonna be busy, I gotta get this day outta the way, no?

-laugh

1st surf.

2005-12-29T20:26:00.000+08:00

GOD so I finally got to surf again this trip, and hell it was crazy. I actually even managed to get photos/videos this time, wheee, post 'em when I get back home in SG.

Mmmmm, so I spent the early early morning at the beach right up till mid-afternoon then we headed out cuz my body was aching sooooooooo fucking bad. Seriously, I'm so unfit. SG needs fucking waves cuz surfing is like a FULL body exercise and it's really the only kinda exercise I'll ever do. Gym? God I tried that and it's gay as fuck; boring, sweaty, no fun, no 'joyful' pains or aches at the end to show for it. Ugh, gym-people are gross. =/

Now after trying to fight waves by bringing your board out into sea,(this is probably the worst part, but it's where all the real exercise comes from) you're already half fucking tired, not to mention having to paddle your way in and catch the wave, then stay ON it, and move around without falling off because of the force of the wave or a backwash wave intending to cripple you ahhhh..... Now THAT...is serious exercise! I kept getting dunked today cuz the fucking waves seemed like they were getting 12 foot high and shit, it wasn't funny hey, especially one that nearly had my fucking board hit my head, thank God for quick reflexes I saved myself from drowning. =( I'm gonna miss my near-death experiences here that give me that intense adrenaline rush. *le sigh* Australiaaaaaaaaa.......*cries sadly* I'm leaving in 2 days!

Time to sit flat out on the couch cuz my entire body is aching and red, burning. Well, at least I'll get a nice tan?

Midland

2005-12-27T16:32:00.000+08:00

So yesterday karina,david,krystal and i were supposed to go have dinner together but some real crazy shit went down and in the end it was just me and krys in midland. I'd reaaaaaaaaaaally rather not write about the gay shit cuz uh, it's just gay. Anyways had pizza for dinner then just walked around the dead-town of Midland.

Ah, so care-free, relaxed. Interesting chat, including the 20second rain from God. *grin* The transfer of something valuable of mine and the walking into the middle of streets and...just the whole mental stimulation thing went pretty satisfactory for me. *laughs*

Went to the Burswood casino after that and God damn there's girls there. And by girls dude I mean ohhhhhh yeahhhhhhh.......It was kinda hot inside though, so I needed a breather by the endda the night but my eyes were having a serious party on their own when I was inside there. Luckily someeeeeeeeeone was there to control me and prevent me from being a raving animal on heat, mmmmmmm.........

Got a cab home and it costed me what, $41.80 ? That was really gay as fuck, but I didn't wanna wake my mum up and it was kinda late already so I didn't want the dodgy Auzzie train.

All in all, boxing day was great; another memory added into the vast amount of experiences that my cryptic soul has contained.

Australiaaaaaaaaaa: CHRISTMAS DAY!

2005-12-26T07:04:00.000+08:00

Ah well, so I arrived in Perth yet again on thursday, what, 4 days ago? Yeah. And uh, spent thursday with mum and nat and kinda just fucked the day around until I fell asleep in the car for like 3hours at night, z.

Anyways, next day the 23rd met up with Krys and her family in Freo and she and I walked around Freo shopping, uh, kinda, and like messing around basically and then watched King Kong at night. Yeah, it was fucking freezing especially after the movie and she had like what, 4 layers on? I had 2. bleh. King Kong was kinda uh...touching, cute, sweet, but not something I would watch a second time. I guess I'm caught between saying it was good and bad, I don't really know. So after the movie, just before we froze our asses off, mum came to the rescue and took us home.

Showed her around the house, checking out the beautiful sky/stars and all that the australian world has to offer! Walked outside the house for a bit, still freezing, but really just enjoying the cool air and sky. *sigh* Eventually went back in and went to sleep; kinda.

Xmas eve, morning! Woke up all groggy, not to mention shocked initially, but once we managed to get up mum came home and took us right out to freo yet again, so we walked around for a bit aimlessly until we decided to take a train into town where we did even more shopping; sorta. More like just walking around like 2 aimless little children not caring about anything in life. Australia is so care-free, argh. Nothing to think about, nothing to bother, nothing to be concerned about. No one cares!

So eventually we had to take a train to Midland and naturally she falls asleep on the train again so I ended up watching this lil' kid walk around in the train, banging his head against the side of the window and falling face-flat on the floor. Y'know, the usual kinda kid-shit. Idiot.

So we got to Midland train station and David/James picked us up and we went to James's place. I met this cute lil' 10yo kid, kry's nephew, Ben.............That name is gonna sink with me forever now, because I have never known a more rough 10yo that beat me up. :( *cry* Yeah we were on the trampolin and the lil' kid tore the shit outta my...nuts. Fucker. I eventually headbutted him and we both got huge lumps on our foreheads so uh, that was fine. har.har.

The night went on alright, great BBQ, great food, though I didn't have much of an appetite. Actually, y'know what? Recently my appetite's been pretty shit, I can't understand it. I take one plate, maybe a bit on my second, but never more than that. I think my body knows that I'm going past the weight of sexiness and my sub-conscious is doing that. =/ rawr.

David/krys brought me back to the train station and so I sat there for about 15minutes waiting for the train to come and I FORGOT MY FUCKING JACKET so I was literally shaking while I was sitting there, fuck. Once I walked into that train god damn it was heavenly warm. Sat there for the journey until midway these 3 girls walked from the back past me, I turned and smiled and they smiled back, but I turned away before I gave the look that I wanted to lie on the floor with them and fuck them there and then. That kinda prevented them from talking to me, so thank God. They turned their heads and then saw this white-haireed young guy there so once they sat down they asked him, "So where are you from?" And this guy is looking all shy and shit like he doesn't know wtf to say and I just rolled my eyes and I'm like, "Men. Pathetic." Let's not go to that section anyway huh? Just know that pussy men annoy me, and disgrace me. I went back to my mp3 and craig david music. ^.^

Finally got to the freo station about an hour later and Karina picked me up with her car, and we went back home! Wheeeeeeeeeee.........the warmth of my bed god damn.

CHRISTMAS MORNING!!!!!! Woke up at like 7am, said hi to mum, went back into my room...sleep. Until like 10am when Karina came pouncing in with the dogs putting them onto my face trying to wake me, z. So I got prezzies, everyone got prezzies, everyone was happy; yay. Went to sleep again after that. lmfao. We had a nice lil' lunch, where I ate very little(again) and then after 4pm mum's guests started coming in. **holy shit it's 7:30am here and I'm freezing like fuck, im shaking so bad i can barely type** So John came, and he's a real nice chap, chatted with him a lil' then summer came, and june, and hell i chatted with june for a pretty damn long time, and she's a VERY nice woman; absolutely charming.

Washing the dishes, that's my job,
nothing to do, but wash and sob,
not to worry, it didn't take long,
because I sang a jolly xmas song!

Wow, I thought of that in like 20seconds flat. Yeah so I did the dishes of all the people in the party and sang fuckin' christmas songs while I was at it, ha.ha. Night went by rather swiftly. The people at the party were relatively old, but once I actually got into conversation with them it was really quite...intellectual and all. Especially with June and John. June really gave me some insight into women(yes, yes, my never-ending quest to completely and thoroughly understand the female mind) and John gave me some good tips on life, in general. His philosophy was what, that 'evil' and 'bad' don't exist? And that the church created them just to scare us? So I was like well then 'good' doesn't exist either then and he's like stunned for about 2seconds then he goes "yeah i guess." har.har.

So after I finished my drink I said hiddy-ho john and went into my room and was on the phone with krys discussing whatever we're doing today and then i zonked out. yeah, no shower nothin'; gross as fuck. In fact, imma go shower now cuz I feel soooo disgusting, and it's cold...so I need some nice warmth..mmm.../cheer

*loves*
Australia

Oh baby.

2005-12-20T14:31:00.000+08:00

Oh baby, whoever said this blog is dead,
oh baby, whoever said I ain' around,
oh baby, what was it that once you said,
shhh, shhh, we ain't makin' a sound.

Ah, yes, so chung got addicted again. HA.HA.HA. 500g ftw.

I'm in school now doing some e-learning crap, and I'm flying off to Austrlaia in 2 days eeeeeeee......yeahhhh......I might post once again when I'm there. :D

I never post here, cuz hey, this place is boring! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

China

2005-10-21T23:26:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna post all of Greece/Amsterdam(every single day) and China within the next few days, which is gonna be a loooooooooooooooooot so...I hope none of you are bored enough to read everything. ;p

Greece & Amsterdam

2005-10-16T19:23:00.000+08:00

Spent the last 2 weeks in Greece and Amsterdam. I've had a shitload of a good time. Got a nice tan, spent lots of money, explored ruins in Greece and weed shops in Amsterdam. I really can't be bothered posting everything about everyday about how I felt, so just check out the pictures to get a basic idea of what I've been doing. =)

Santorini 2nd day

2005-10-07T21:57:00.000+08:00

**This post is only a description of what I did, for my own future reference.**

Woke up at 2am, felt kinda fucked, drank water and went back to sleep till 7:30am. Ate bread, again, for breakfast. Walked to the old port with lots of donkey shit along the way and took the photo with the old donkey trainers. Took a boat to the volcano and walked around, checking it out. Yeah, sorta interesting, not too much my cup of tea though. Took a boat to the Hot Springs, where some people went swimming, but I couldn't be fucked undressing and shit just for a few minutes swim. It's a pretty interesting natural spa though. ;) Took the boat back and ate by the port, greek food again. Rode a donkey back up and then bought ice cream and had a chicken gyros on the way to the hotel. Tried sleeping but Karina kept begging me to buy wine, which I did eventually. Don't know what we did for dinner lol.

And I got an interesting poem, too. Hmmm.

i know you hate it, when i pull back,
i hate to be like this too, o whut d heck,
just hope u know, my attention u wont lack,
You're on my mind, even when it's so very pack.

Awwww, how sweeeeeeeeeet, huh?

Santorini.

2005-10-06T21:55:00.000+08:00

**This post is only a description of what I did, for my own future reference. There is no reading pleasure in this post.**

Somehow I woke up at 5:15am and both my sisters were not yet back from their crazy club by the beach. Literally. The dance floor in the club was 10 METRES from the water of the ocean, lol. Anyways when I got up for some reason I felt like jogging so I got my jacket and track pants on and when jogging around the area in the total darkness. Yeah seriously, they don't have lights all along the roads there like in Singapore, so it was cold wind blowing so hard combined with the darkness; really scary. But really really exciting too. *grin*

Got back and showered and we left the 'hotel', and took a fast ferry to the Greek island of Santorini. A reaaaaaally beautiful island. We didn't eat dinner cuz we just ate leftovers of lunch and everyone fell asleep really really early. A very unproductive day. ;p

Delos.

2005-10-05T21:51:00.000+08:00

**This post is only a description of what I did, for my own future reference. There is no reading pleasure in this post.**

Took ferry again, but this time to the island of Delos and saw ruins of shit from thousands of years ago again. This was apparently the birthplace of Apollo and some other Greek God. We climbed this huge hill, well not really huge, I was just not yet used to walking/exercising so much and at the top it was the fuccccking cool view cuz I could see tons of islands, water, and all the ruins of the ancient city where only a few thousand people lived. I could even picture what it woulda looked like...really amazing.

Nat chatted with some Greek guide named Fotis and got a date with him that night. Ha.Ha. Anyways we walked around more, looking at more ruins, bathtubs, theatres for people to watch live orgys(no kidding) and finally we took the ferry back to Mykonos and ate Greek food in the afternoon again. Went back to the 'hotel' and relaxed for a bit before going out at night for this really nice dinner accompanied by a cute white dog. Z. Sleep.

Arrival in Mykonos

2005-10-04T21:43:00.000+08:00

**This post is only a description of what I did, for my own future reference. There is no reading pleasure in this post.**

Woke up reaaaaally early and got on a 7:30am ferry to Mykonos, a Greek island. The point of the remaining of the trip was just to visit the islands of Greece. On the ferry to Mykonos I stood by the side of the ferry alone, looking out into the horizon and I swear I heard my brother, Darius, speak to me. Oh well.

Checked into this place called Mama's Pension and there were lots of winding roads and sailing ships that were kinda interesting to look at. Just swam around in the ocean that afternoon, which brought back so many fonds memories of my time in Australia, apart from the shitty waves lol. Got really tanned, in fact, burnt.

Walked around town with Nat, just exploring the crazy town that was made to deter pirates, which basically ended up deterring tourists cuz they have no fucking idea where they're going. Ate my 1st crepe, and I got so addicted cuz it was fucking elite. Went home and slept early.

Journey to Athens.

2005-10-03T22:40:00.000+08:00

**This post is only a description of what I did, for my own future reference. There is no reading pleasure in this post.**

Took a plane to Athens alone. Arrived in Athens from Singapore. Walked to the train station and got on a train myself, sitting there for what seemed like an hour, then mom/natalia picked me up from the Akropolio train station. Got into the hotel and then went out to visit the Akropolis, which is an ancient ruin of ancient Greece from thousands of years ago, and it's still there. Just walked around and took pictures before having a really crappy vegetarian dinner with mom/brian/karina/natalia.

Bad guy, or boyfriend?

2005-09-29T20:33:00.000+08:00

Bad Boy ......or...... Boyfriend?

Women are funny. I know most women better than they know themselves, simply because they're so predictable cuz they're almost all the same, generally. So I find it really interesting how some woman(or girls, whatever) try to be different and...do stuff that most wouldn't usually do. In fact, I find it kind of cute.

But today I gained an insight, an insight that I've long been searching for. Only now do i "get it" about women 100%. Yes, I have obtained enlightenment and I now know all there is to know about what women want in a man. I'm not gonna put it here, or I'll way too much competition, I'm just gonna talk about this particular insight I gained.

I came to an actualisation...That there are only 2 types of relationships. The Bad Boy or the Boyfriend. The wussies/losers will never get in a relationship, and if they do it's so stupid it's not even worth mentioning. Whatever. But here it goes:

BAD BOY:Girls love bad boys, and this type of relationship is mostly...well, not really love. It's more sexually-related, I suppose. For married women, they have their husband, and those that cheat, cheat with men that are BAD BOYS, because their husbands have turned into whining little wussies.

BOYFRIEND/HUSBAND:This is the relationship where the guy does everything that a typical boyfriend/husband does. Carry the girl's bag, opens doors for her, does all the nice sweet sweet, non-wussy stuff. These type of relationships tend to be less sexual but more loving. Although it is possibly to obtain an intermediate, it's somewhat difficult.

So all in all really, when it comes to a relationship, it's definitely how the guy acts that determines what type of relationship it becomes. So it's a choice, do I wanna be the bad boy that gets laid with any girl I want, and have all the girls want me because I seem like such a giant sex God? Or do I want the down-to-earth relationship that's really sweet and loving. After all, as much as sex is a wonderful feeling, is love not?

Which leads to another question: Is it possible to go from the Bad Boy to the Boyfriend? Is it possible that you get a girl into bed with you and THEN you end up feeling like you want to BE with her?

Women are easy to understand, contrary to what the world thinks. It's the relationship, which is controlled by the guy, that is the complicated factor.

...Cable Car Dining?

2005-09-28T23:07:00.000+08:00

Rofl, longass day. Read only if you wanna be entirely enticed by my great comprehension skills...or if you're just a bored lil' geek that has nothing better to do.

Financial and Management Accounting(yeah yeah boring) was not as bad as I thought, I might be able to fail it just by a little bit. :)

Went to Harbourfront Pastamania to eat..lol@cramps. uh then was at Macs from like 2-6 to study...well, sorta. *grin* LOL yeah I ordered this McFlurry right, and the guy goes up to the ice cream machine, puts the cup there, pulls down the ice cream thingy and....this really long stream...of vanilla ice cream...just split down straight to the floor. He was like "Wtf". I BURST OUT SUDDENLY. I could nottttttttt control it ahhahaha. He came later and was like, "thanks sir." and i'm like, "yeah, for the laugh." ahahhaha. okay. i found it funny, screw you.

CABLE CAR DINING, ONLY ONE IN THE WORLD:

Wow, this was fucking elite. K basically the thing starts in Mount Faber. They put a table there and you and your friend/partner get in and you get an appetizer. The cable car goes to Sentosa and back to Mount Faber WHILE YOU EAT YOUR APPETIZER. Then when you get back to Mount Faber, they take away your appetizer and put a main course, and off to Sentosa you go again! I was like wtf ahhahah. THEN when you come back you get your dessert, but I was like fuck that I'm not going to Sentosa a 3rd time lmao. So we just ate dessert outside hahaha.

Walked the..*scary* path to Telok Blangah Rise, and I so could not stop laughing, hahahha. The uh, Gazebo? is really cool. I dunno, for some reason it didn't feel all that hot or sweaty or anything tonight, it was just real perfect, and it was just such a funny night.

Mmmmm, dares? Yes, daring is fun. Yes, 30seconds is fun...Oh yes, soft is good too..*laughs menacingly* Predictable...predictable. *rolls eyes*

ANYWAYS, offf the daily boring 'whatIdidtoday' topic, I'm just gonna, I dunno, talk about some stuff!

SISTERS: My sisters came to Singapore yesterday! They left today. Word? Okay elder sisters are really fucking annoying when you live with them. God. The 1st fucking day they were here they were already lecturing me on what I should and should not be doing. Computers are bad for you...Blah blah. Wtf, leave me alone, z. Anywayz, they've gone off to Greece, but I'm still stuck here cuz I got a fucking exam on Friday...BUT NO PROBLEM! I GOT STUFF TO DO ANYWAYS! Seeing sisters on Sunday anyway, lala.

THIS SATURDAY: OmGggggggggggggg Tobias is having his 18th b'day party at a chalet and he's gonna invite all his friends from the Canadian International School. Ladiessss, here I comeeeeeeeeeeeeee. They probably won't be able to take me anyway, so I'll go home empty-handed...But who knows what happens THERE?! Oops, relax. *sighs softly* okay.

SUNDAY: Yay, will be coming home from Tobias's party...hopefully. Then gonna sleep/go out with dad/pack/rush off to Amsterdam by myself to get high for 5hours, then go to Greece...Then...who knows! God I'm really looking forward to sleeping in a shithouse and having to speak English to Greek people that won't understand me and walking around with a huge backpack that weighs down my shoulders...not.

I'm so used to the luxurious lifestyle where I get everything easy and whenever. Going to Greece with the gay backpack and living in a shitass hotel is really gonna teach me something. Good, I guess. Oh well. We'll seeeeeeeeeee.

z gotta sleep, been up since 4am today, fuck. fuck. fuck. why is that word so nice to say/type/write? f-u-c-k. it's just...so easy. hmmm. aight gon' end today with a lil' rhyme wheeeeeeeee...~

Ladies come chill, come rock with me honey,
I got like, half a mill in monopoly money,
There's no stoppin' me honey, so you can, take my hand,
We can lay on the beach and count, grains of sand.

word up G unitssssssssss~

Aighttttt I'm bacccccccck.

2005-09-22T20:13:00.000+08:00

Yeah I thought I'd start posting things in more detail, so when you guys, or I read it in future, it'll be easier to refer~

GENERAL: Aight yo so 2 and a half months, yeah I think that a long enough break from bloggin' yeh? Yeah I'm back ya'all, fer myself and fer the few lil' kids that keep askin' me to update. Uh huh.

Yeah so like since the 1 week break school been pretty borin' as usual, but I been havin' fun like playin' this and that, know wadda mean? Yeah you hear this shit about this guy dissin' Malays and he gone done in court? Hell yeah man you gotta be hell careful with whatchoo say in yer blogs or you be bloggin' from behind bars.

EXAMS: Anyways I don't diss nothin' on my blogs, 'cept school exams that kinda make me study on the day before and the day itself, yeah it be stressin'.

Yo I was so like trippin' this mornin' when I had to start studyin' for this uh, 50% test for ECM or some shit. Good job me squeezin' like 5months worka shit into a few hours, and yeah it went pretty aight too. ha.

COMPERE CLUB: Yeah so compere camp can't be delayed so chung and I can't go. Yeah I'm hell pissed at that shit but yo Clarice ain't did nothin' to to try and change it earlier so we're just fucked. z. Compere club is like so fuckin' disorganized and shit, maybe cuz we have like no people at all in the club but still.

UPCOMING OCTOBER: So I'm goin' to Greece yeah, then a few days in Amsterdam to get crazy high with my sisters, don't think mom's gonna be takin' any part innit though ahhaha. Imagine my mom high. Word. Comin' back to SG and then flyin' off to China with dad and sisters, to see some of our ancestry or some shizen, no real idea yet, I'll be real sure to update that though~

GIRLS: Okay. This is serious. ALL girls should have long hair. Hair is like, since fuckin' 99999 BC, been a huge attracting feature for guys kay? A girl with relatively long(too long makes you look like a fat broomstick) hair alone can fucking attract a guy. You do NOT know how many times we guys are like, "Oh god dude that girl looks hell hot." from behind....of course only to find she's like got a full acidic face and shit. oops~ Yeah this is 1 of the many conditions I look for in girls. Oh, and yes, I AM VERY PICKY WHEN IT COMES TO FEMALES. A PERSON LIKE ME CANNOT AFFORD IMPERFECTION! *smiles*

WORLD OF WARCRAFT: Level 38 now, yeah I sound geeky saying this but who cares, this is my fucking blog right? Ain't going to jail for saying I got level 38. Anyways Warlock really rapes, I think I could take on any class personally, maybe priests and paladins can be a bit of a fuckup but I could still try. 2 more levels till i get my fire horse ha.

Don't hate me just 'cuz you can't take it. ;)

hirzi's 19th b'day dare

2005-07-04T12:33:00.000+08:00

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA AHAHAH ROFLLLLL LMFAOOOAOAO LAOLOLOLOLO LMAOFMOA AHAHAHHHAHA HAHAhahEHhEhehehe *ahem* mmmm, yeah. okay. *stops crying in ecstasy* god. that was funny.

so like a couple weeks ago at swensens hirzi didnt wanna drink the specially made drink for him, consisting of scoops of ice cream, milo, coffee, tomato sauce, pepper, salt, tissue paper and uh, lots of other shit. so instead he chose to dance in the middle of food court 6 in poly.

anywho, today us 10 guys were like buggin' him and pressurin' him and shit to dance for 10 secs in the middle of food court 6 on the floor right, but he was like omfg no i cant eeee...so instead we were like ok so dance on top of the table for 5seconds then lOLZ~!~!~`

so like, we all got our cameras out, and soon there were 7 cameras pointing at hirzi, waiting for him to do his dare lol. until finally he boldly stood on the chair, stood on the table, and then joel shouted FUCKING LOUDLY: "OUIIIIIIIII!!!!" and pointed up at hirzi. THE ENTIRE FUCKING CANTEEN WERENT 100% QUIET. EVERYONE basically stared at hirzi as he stood there with his palms facing out and jumping up and down on the table going, "AHAHAHAHAH" until he jumped down and the people in the food court and all clapped for him and went "woooooooooo"

ahahah i laughed sooooooo hard i started crying and shit. omgz. ohfuck eunice is reading my entry atm, omg. DIE EUNICE. DIE. GO AWAY YOU HAIRY MONSTER. O.o

k project time bai zing

Choices.

2005-06-05T21:01:00.000+08:00

Dejavu, here I go again with the whole life thing about the word 'Choice', but trust me, that word is more significant than almost any other word in your life.

Firstly I want to start off by saying that if any of you have parents that are still living together with you, and you complain about them in any sort/way, then FUCK YOU. Appreciate your fucking family because at least your family is still together. Don't complain at all until your family gets into a situation like mine k fuckers.

Now that that's out of the way.....

Obviously, your entire life is a choice, anything you do is a choice, that's a given. But you have to look at the major choices you make in life. The...life-changing ones. Like...the one I made, last year.

I made a decision to leave year 11 high school in Australia last year, to come back to Singapore to study in poly. Now for my entire high school life IN Singapore, I've ALWAYS been looking forward to going to Australia to finish up high school there.

But no, I decided to come back to SG because I kept fighting with my mom there, so go me, 3-4years of dreaming shattered in a single month. But I made that choice.

I made the choice to leave behind...

1) My car, or ability to drive at 17.
2) My surfboard, or ability to surf almost all year.
3) My room that I intended to fully decorate and look extremely teenly cool.
4) The beautiful Australian weather that isn't 90% humidity. *sighs*
5) Super hawt auzzie shopping centres.
6) Oh-so-friendly personality of Australians that I totally love.
7) The lifestyle I've always dreamed of.
8) Open-minded, aggressive, sexy and dirty-talking Australian girls. Mmmmm...

So many nights I think to myself, "Did I make the right decision?" I normally never second guess in life, but with this decision I made, I simply can't lie back and let it pass me. I doubt, I regret, it constantly bugs me. What if I had held out the extra 2 weeks my dad told me to wait, and had sorted things out with my mom? Would I have been able to live there and live the life I want?

*shrugs*

Quoting a friend of mine she says:

michele_lawson : Your life is your own, the choices you make, the roads you choose are what will get you through it. You just need to see that whatever choices you make lead you to the life that will be yours and only yours.

So true isn't it?

While I walk the streets, live my life, and talk to people, none of you ever see that beneath my surface I am deeply troubled by this very decision I made. By the very effects it's caused, and how much it's changed my life. Bleh.

Here's another good quote by another friend:

||åßZ x quiet intensity. says:
you have a choice

And I'll leave this post at that, that your life is a choice, and you live by the decisions you make. Think about your decisions, then make them wisely, and NEVER, EVER REGRET. Because when you regret, that's when your life starts to dampen and you get all depressed and shit.............

Like me.

1st week of 2nd year poly over

2005-06-03T23:06:00.000+08:00

uh k so the 1st week of the 2nd year of poly is over and it all went by pretty smoothly, considering all the real shit is startin' next week. but i was made class rep again and bleh, today i bought notes for the entirely class but only like half the class came to school so i brought like a fucking heavy bag home, which hurt my shoulders bad. :(

yongming: i'm very mature already kays, shush to you~

ms: :((((((((((((!!!!!!!!!!!

chung: gj on your event today, you and nat work great.

nat: same2u.

abz: ty so much.

peiyu: sorry lorz, but i explained already yeah? ;p

dba 2b/05: ya'all rock~

2nd year poly....begins.

2005-05-30T14:12:00.000+08:00

!!!!!!! So the 2nd year of poly just started today and the Accountin' teacher is goin' round askin' our hobbies, interests and other shizen like that. *rolls eyes*

My class is really great, way better than last year I must say. We've got loud/funny people that participate and all unlike my 1st year, so yeah, wheeee~

All our lectures are in MLT10 this semester...which is my least favorite lecture theatre so BLEH. :( *cries insanely*

Oops okay so back to class now bye!~

mmmmmm flirting

2005-05-28T09:11:00.000+08:00

NEW PICS ADDED.

Sigh. Was just readin' my posts from when I was in Aust and I'm all oh-so-very depressed right now. I read the one where I was on the train flirtin' with this chick and I had this sudden huge emotional rush of joy for a few seconds, thinking of how exciting it was actually having a fun flirting conversation, then realised I was actually in Singapore where girls have a 0% idea on how to flirt and have fun. Sigh.

There's nothing wrong with flirting. Flirting is fine. CHEATING is wrong. Flirting is a very natural process that goes on almost anytime a male and a female are together. It's more natural than the shit that comes out of your ass. Flirting adds lots of excitement to people's lives and almost everytime both parties enjoy the flirt.

However, EXCESSIVE flirting, which leads to leading someone on, is also wrong. Cuz that's just giving the other person a false sense of hope. But z, if you don't let it go too far, then it's perfectly alright.

Flirting with other people DURING a relationship IS ALSO OKAY, as long as the flirt does not lead to anything more than talking and looking. Once it gets physical, it's wrong.

So in conclusion, I ask all of you my friends, to flirt! Flirt and have fun! Enjoy your flirting experience and do it while you're still young.

Don't ever stop flirting!

Cuz I won't.

WTF

2005-05-17T15:27:00.000+08:00

OMFG what the fuck happened to Lindsay Lohan? she looks like a pile of bones with blonde hair. gj turning herself into complete white trash. all she needs now is to fire up some smack and get married in vegas and she will be on top of the hollywood A-list! [Nicole Ritchie looks like fuck as well, but she aint really worth a mention.]

Decision Making.

2005-05-16T23:18:00.000+08:00

There are times in all our lives where we make decisions. Small decisions, big decisions, funny decisions, stupid decisions, randomy decisions. Any decision.

Some are decisions to go to school or not, to jackoff in the mornin', to eat breakfast or not. Others...are more important. They are life-changing, life-affecting and even life-hurting. But yet, these decisions must be made.

In any case, when you come to one of these big decisions, whether it be big to YOU alone, and small to others, or big to everyone in general, do not hesitate and panic, and mostly...do not regret. Think through your decisions, yes. Debate and look at the long-term affects it will have on your life, and those around you, but never, ever, regret making the decision. Always make sure you choose the decision that you know for sure you will not regret.

Sometimes you will be faced with a dilemma. For example, me choosing to come back to Singapore from Australia last year, leaving behind everything I ever dreamed of in a typical joyous life of mine. I chose that, and sometimes I look back, and I wonder, "what if I had stayed?" NO. YOU MUST NOT DO THAT. NEVER EVER SECOND GUESS. Don't EVER EVER ask yourself the question, "what if I had done that instead?" It's done, do not linger over it, and do not let it bother you, because you will *never* know the answer.

You could even be in a dilemma over having to decide if you should meet a girl or guy that lives thousands of miles away in another country that you think you've fallen for. Never bother looking at or wasting your time with the short-term effects. Instead, have you looked at the long-term effects? Have you asked yourself, "What do you TRUELY feel?" If not, then do so, and take your time in answering it. Not 5minutes, nor 10minutes, nor even an hour, or a day. Take as long as you need, and think through the question, "What do you TRUELY feel?" And then ask yourself, "Is doing this WORTH all my effort, trouble, and time?" If your answer is yes, then, my friends, go ahead and obtain what you so truely desire.

If your answer is "I don't know", then that in itself is an answer too. Say you do not know means that you are not sure of what you really want, and therefore what you THINK you really want, may not be what you really want after all. In this case, review your situation, and decide accordingly.

Deciding over a long-distance relationship. Mmmmm yes, a very interesting topic indeed. Have you ever felt something for someone that you cannot explain? That it feels so different compared to anyone else ever before? And that person lives halfway across the Earth? If you have not, then my friends I ask that you attempt to experience it. The combination of happy and sad emotions is by far the most stunning and extraordinary feelings that you could ever experience in a relationship.

The distance in itself is an adding factor to your relationship. KNOWING that the person being so far away, and being so out of reach, MAKES you want him/her even more, and makes you crave and desire him/her more.

The distance, however, also frustrates you, and will be the main factor contributing to your sad emotions you feel throughout the day. You will be constantly thinking about the person you so deeply desire all day.

However, this constant sad thinking of the person all day also leads to another factor. Anticipation. The ANTICIPATION of waiting for the person to come online so that you may be able to talk to him/her is so strong that it makes talking to the person seem so much more exciting, thrilling, heart-pulsatingly racing.

Your conversations will, naturally, often include the venting of frustrations by both sides of the distance between the two, and how they wish it were not so. This frustration, I must tell you, is no laughing matter. The frustration of knowing that someone you want or love is so far away, and you are unable to touch him/her physically, not said in a sexual or dirty manner, but more in a way of 'feeling' that the person is there beside you, and just knowing you're around someone you want or love extremely badly, is enough to drive any sane man or woman to insanity.

The frustration of being unable to be in the presence of the one you love, merely because of distance, is by far, in my opinion, the worst fucking feeling you can ever have.

However, can you simply imagine, that when the time comes and both of you are able to bond together, meet one another, and finally feel that presence that you have longed for or craved for so many weeks, maybe months, or even years...Imagine...For those few seconds that you first see the person, either for the first time, or again after a long time...The overwhelming happiness and joy, the immense rush of spirit and blood that suddenly gush through your body, the look in both your eyes...

That moment, my friends, is one of the moments we live for in our life, and one which I call...

A moment of heaven.

WWF

2005-05-16T00:08:00.000+08:00

You know when i was younger, prolly around the age of 10-12, i was a hugeass fan of WWF [which is now known as WWE after buying up WCW or something]. i would watch Raw is War every week with my brother, and then go to school the next day to discuss whatever happened with the guys. i remember this one time when we were playing WWF in the field during recess time, and my "friend" pulled a DDT on me. totally knocked me out. was fun times anyway~

so anyway i was watching tv last night and Raw was showing, and since there isn't really anything else to watch 3am in the morning, i decided, why the fuck not. but to my morbid disappointment, it was no longer similar to DA SHIT i watched years ago.

all the new wrestlers are so .. well-built and decent looking. dress them up nicely and you've got yourself a buffer version of queer eye for the straight guy. i don't know what happened to guys like STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN. man he was badass. my all-time favourite wrestler. he would just come out onto stage and tear every motherfucking wuss apart, and then rip open 2 (or more) cans of beer and down them in 10secs. he was so much more believeable, as compared to the wimps they have nowadays.

Mick Foley, aka Mankind, was uber badass as well. yea so what he was a fat lump of shit, he would probably scare the crap outta you just by looking at your direction. i honestly don't understand having Mr. Socko as a finishing move, but then i would hate to imagine where that sock had been in order to give it sufficient power to knock a 6'5 300lbs guy out. if you had been a diehard fan of WWF like i was, you would have seen him falling from ladders onto barbwires in ladder matches and being slammed from the top of metal cages onto the ring in cage matches. that's wrestling entertainment right there. no bullshit talk, no fancy tights. just beat the shit outta each other. respect~

The Rock was pretty elite as well, before he went queer. and then we have Degeneration-X, where the "suck it" gesture was popularized. then Triple H went gay and became Vince MaMahon's biatch.

it's all just too commercialized right now. too many trash-talking wussies, too many skimpy-clothed hoes, wayyyy too much bad acting. my dad used to tell me wrestling's all fake and i refused to believe him. the blood oozing out from Mankind's mask after a hardcore match with The Rock looked real enough for me. but now i KNOW wwe is just a bunch of bullshit. =(

dear santa~

2005-05-11T18:53:00.000+08:00

damnit i think i'm turning into one of those new age yuppies who spend money on shit they don't really need. and unlike those yuppies who actually have disposable money, i have none. but that doesnt stop me from have sudden strong (i mean really strong) urges to buy stuffs.

these are the stuffs i'm gonna get by all means. =(

-ipod shuffle; just cause it's sleak and stylish. don't give a flying fuck it doesnt have a screen.
-a new semi-acoustic guitar; my guitar is old is gayed. might as well upgrade to an elite one. =/
-nautical star belt; meterosexual side of me in action, that thing costs $49 zzz

these are the stuffs which would be nice to have

-a new phone; i don't really need this. but hell yea i want one.
-socks; haha yah i know it's kinda weird but all i have are those school-ish white ones.
-A NEW COM; omg 1.39 gHz is antique. don't even get me started on my Voodoo 3 v.card zzz
-money; =(
-a complete renovation to my room; it doesnt even feel like my own room atm. it never did~
-a CAR; would be super if you threw in some gas as well
-did i mention money already?

so there are 2 ways you can help me. somehow convince me to become a monk and live without all material things or buy me something from the list. :P it's never too late for a birthday present =( or the christmas present you owe me since last year, and the year before.

fuck i should go get a job~

... who the fuck am i kidding =((((((((

nizzle nizzle~

2005-05-08T19:03:00.000+08:00

Now it's my turn to quote Chungs quote lol...

"Furthermore, there is nothing greater than falling asleep with someone in your arms without even knowing it. Last thing you remember is having a conversation and you have absolutely no clue how you fell asleep.

Then you wake up, and for just that moment, nothing in the world disturbs you. There is nothing else in your mind except the thought of the person next to you. You stop thinking about your pointless existence, about how miserable your life is because for that single instant, nothing feels wrong. Nothing."

That, my dear friend, is EXACTLY what I'm talking about.

nizzle~

2005-05-08T15:59:00.000+08:00

gosh. i've been having way too many late nights recently. i'm always sleepy during the day and wide-awake at night. but then again, what are the holidays for right. ;p

anyway i just wanted to quote something on darius's last post:-

"man, i so love that feeling. having a girl sleeping with her arms around you, and waking up really close to you, maybe arms still around you, and then kissing you early in the morning smiling and saying hi.....sighs. if only~"

that is so true man. it's no longer about the sex, or anything else for that matter. i came across this article on the net which pretty much sums it up~

Skin on skin.

I've been in England for over three months now, I complain about the food on a daily basis, the smelly toilets, the showers, the teachers, the americans. There is an endless amount of things I can't stand here, but the thing I miss most is skin on skin.

I was thinking about it all last night. The feeling of skin on skin with the person you have genuine feelings for is unexplainable. I pity the people who have never felt what i'm talking about, because words will never do it justice.

You could claim that I just miss sex, which I can't deny but skin on skin is beyond that.

"I want to taste the salt of your skin"

Sure, I get hugs every now and then. Artificial conventional hugs, you don't see a friend in a long time, give a hug, handshake whatever. There ya go, skin on skin.

No. Not quite.

I imagine if I ever had a one night stand, I would get up and leave as soon as i'm done. I would hate waking up next to someone I don't feel for. It would be awkward, i wouldn't know anything about her.

Furthermore, there is nothing greater than falling asleep with someone in your arms without even knowing it. Last thing you remember is having a conversation and you have absolutely no clue how you fell asleep.

Then you wake up, and for just that moment, nothing in the world disturbs you. There is nothing else in your mind except the thought of the person next to you. You stop thinking about your pointless existence, about how miserable your life is because for that single instant, nothing feels wrong. Nothing.

If I could think of a purpose to exist, it would be for that moment.

word.

Aust Birthday Celebrations.

2005-05-06T23:17:00.000+08:00

Okay so today I got served, by my own family. God I'm such an ignorant little cunt, lol.

So my day started out cool and all yeah, waking up, chatted with Mich all day on msn and stuff, and I was completely oblivious to whatever the fuck was going on in the house. I saw mom wrapping presents and shit and immediately assumed it to be for her boyfriend, Brian, who turns 60 this Sunday. So I thought all the shit and cooking that was going on was naturally for his birthday, so I kinda just helped out, da'd a bit, kept chatting on msn.

Then Nat tells me to go shower cuz we're goin' out to like one of the best fuckin' restaurants in Freo yeah, so I'm like aight..Shower, whip on my clothes, then went to my com, turned msn off and started walking through the kitchen to my room.....

Brian appeared in the kitchen and I was like lookin' at him sayin', "man i so gotta cut my hair, it's gettin' way too long", then i see Nat appear in the doorway with Karina and my mom and they like started singing Happy Birthday blah blah, and I turned to Brian smiling thinking it was for him and shit, pretending to join in the song......WHEN SUDDENLY....

Nat turns to me. I look at the cake. "Happy Birthday Darius" ......."what the fuck?" I said out loud, which was happily drowned out by the birthday chants. I just stood there like so totally shocked, cuz see, the past few years whenever someone tries to surprise me with a birthday thingy or whatever I always tend to unintentionally catch it see, so I was like ahhhhhh fuckkkkk I got fuckin' punk'd! :(

It was a nice yummy baked cheesecake too.....Mmmmmmm........Took photos in the kitchen(yeah yeah so unglam, whatever~) and then I opened presents in the kitchen too.....AND FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, ALL THE PRESENTS I OPENED WERE FUCKIN' RAPE!

Nat got me my old cologne that I loved so badly, CK Crave, and an Eminem t-shirt that looks mad hawt. Brian got me this sweet-as dark quik shirt. Mom got me a quik jeans, a white quik shirt and a dark billa shirt, i was like omg yessssssssss.............then Karina comes up and says, "darius, this present is VERY expensive...so tell if you're really going to use it or not." I open it up......

Quiksilver fucking watch. I just stared at it and was like.. "oh my god. no. fucking. way." ffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccccccccckinnnnnnn' helllllllll i NEVER thought i'd EVER get a quikky watch i mean c'mon, it's one of the most expensive and top market quik items you can buy, like ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............it's metal and mad cool too, ahhhhh ahahaha. okay just so excited, sorry~

yeah then i was like all happy and shiz and we went ter freo and went into The Mussel Bar, where i met Brian's son, who's 31, looks mad rock-star type, he is in fact the lead singer of one of the new cool-as auzzie bands, and he's gone on tour tonight to sydney actually lol. O.O...so i took a photo with him, and his hair is almost exactly what i'm trying to go for, but it looked maddddddd hippy haha. but yeah hopefully i can get that without poly tellin' me to cut it all off. *frowns*

Brian's son bought be a bottle of the best hippy beer as well, Cooper's! hahaha he dosn't even know me and he bought me that. sooooooo sweeeeeeettttttttt!!!!!!! rar rar rar~

yeah then like we ate mussels, i ate lamb, then we left, took photos with sisters and shit, and i went walking around freo with Nat. yeah there were a few hot chicks but mostly early 20's(mmmmmmm, yeahhhhh) and all but i was really too happy with the nights celebrations and having a hilarious time doing stupid shit with my sister haha. we were walkin' around like crazy lil' kids not knowin' what we were doin' but eventually we got the car and went to pick Ruben(Nat's new boyfriend) up and started drivin' home.

wow, Ruben works for some jewish guy and he says that the boss kinda keeps tabs on everything and wants every single cent counted and that he also works with 2 older fags lol. and they sorta like check out his ass and hit on him sometimes. *shivers* like, ewwww?

yeah so that's my night cut short and i'm gonna go grab Ashke, Karina's dog, and go lie in bed with him, him lying sideways with his back against my chest and stomach.

man, i so love that feeling. having a girl sleeping with her arms around you, and waking up really close to you, maybe arms still around you, and then kissing you early in the morning smiling and saying hi.....sighs. if only~

like the past couple of nights I had Ashke lying like that yeah, and when I woke up in the morning, he's STILL THERE(very surprising) and my eyes flutter open really slowly and shit, and when they open up fully, I see his muzzle right in my fuckin' face, and then he gives me this huge long lick on my nose that totally makes me go "ewwwwwwwwwww........ASHKEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" but then I laugh and play with him throwing him around the room(well not really) and stuff. haha.

I want my own dog that will sleep beside me all night when I get my own house sometime. :D Or my own choice of specially selected women.....hmmmm yeah whatever.

oh yes imma grab a bit more cheesecake, then ashke, and lie in bed smiling over the exciting day wheeeeeeeee.

oh and sis said she might get me some more pot before i go.......mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....!!

LAST BOX DROPPED & TRAIN HOME!

2005-05-05T20:02:00.000+08:00

FIIIIIIIIINALLLLLLLYY done with all those fucking boxes. God, I visited 22 shopping centres around Perth, took so fuckin' long and the drive was so borin', ugh. Okay, a pretty interesting day today actually, ehehhe.

So of course, here I am, walking around all these shopping centres and especially when it comes to 3pm, school is off, and in flood the high school chicks, yuuuuuuum......

Okay so anyway, we delivered 6 boxes to Just Spectacles today and then went to Karrinyup to do shopping where I bought a new shirt from CityBeach, a surf shop. ahhaha then somethin' mad funny happened,(at that time anyway) i walked out from citybeach yeah, and as i was walkin' along the shops and stuff i saw these 5 high school chicks, 4 in uniform, 1 not. and needless to say, the 1 not in uniform was the hottest one. *rolls eyes* i wonder how i came to that conclusion~ ;)

most guys would probably walk around the 5 girls and shit right but being the little fucker that i am, i kept walking straight, EXPECTING the girls to break their oh-so-cool-line and let me pass through. but wtf, one of the girls saw me staring at them and started to PUSH THE GIRL BESIDE HER WITH HER SHOULDER....SO THE GAP GOT SMALLER. in my head i was just like "uh, wtf" but outside i just smiled mischieviously at her, bit my lip pretending i was nervous or unsure, but then just as i reached them, i stopped. they stopped. we were like 50cm apart and i just stood there with the bored "so what now?" look, accompanied by my usual mischievious grin, and the 5 of them just stood there giggling, obviously challenging me to walk around them, but i stood for another 5seconds and then suddenly did a really fast jerking movement from side-to-side and they got shocked and burst out laughing, then i walked forward, they spread apart for me,(the line of course) and i grinned and i think 2 of them said "hey", but i just walked on ahead, not looking back. god that was funny, and really awkward too, but yeah.

then blah blah, went back to karina's place, dropped off her keys, mom dropped me at the train station, i caught the train just in time and stood by the door reading my fantasy book.

The train ride. Hmmmmmmmmm, was interesting cuz there was this guy and girl, i'll name Guy A and Girl B that got on, girl looked kinda gothy, but hot, and they were sucking on a flower, taking turns......which was a pretty hot sight lol. next station another guy and girl got on, I'll name guy B and girl B, they just seemed like normal friends, which was good cuz girl B was pretty hot, or at least appealed to my liking in a girl. :D

so guy B got off the train like 2 stations later, and girl B went to sit down somewhere behind me, and guy A and girl B followed her. another 2 stations later guy A and girl A LEFT. so girl B was left ALONE. and i was like, "fucking hell i should go talk to her." but then i was like, "nah it's weird turning around like that and going to sit beside her." so i took it cool and all, and one station before the final(where everyone has to get off) i put my book in my bag, turned my head, caught her eye, gave a half-smile, and turned back. then just stood there.

she stood up. walked to the door, pressed the 'bell', and stood by the door, unsure(or pretending) of something, then she looked at me, i looked at her, we both smiled and turned away. then she walks to the center of the train, and says to me, "do you know which side we get out?" i was thinking to myself, "yeah right you dont know. haha" but i was like, "hmmmm, how many times have you taken the train?" and she's like "oh only 3-4 times, my mom usually brings me." and i was like, "ohhhhh? a lil' mommy's girl eh?" and she's like "nooooooooo not really!" and looking all shy. can't really remember what else we said...OH....yeah she said, "so are you still in school?" and i'm like "nah, i don't school here, i'm too cool, what about you, married yet?"(obviously not, she looked like 17) and she was like, "haha nono i'm still in year 11." and i was like "oh, so you're 17 then, oh wait, 16? bleh i dont know haha." and she's like "nah i started year 1 earlier cuz i studied overseas before." and then we kinda just chatted on about how she was trying to go to some hair shop to get her hair done and i teased her about how she really needs it and she just kept laughing and all, then some early 20's woman came and stood behind us and girl B just randomly asked her if she knew where the shop was or whatever, and all 3 of us basically go into a 3-some chat and talk like we knew each other for ages hahahah. AUSTRALIA IS SO FRIENDLY, SINGAPOREANS SHOULD LEARN TO BE MORE FRIENDLY LIKE THAT AND NOT HATE EVERYONE, SMILE!!!!!!!

then the train door opened at the side SHE said would open, and she mocked, "see, it opens this side, i told you!" and i looked sideways at her, raised my eyebrow and said, "i didn't say it didn't." and we both laughed, and said cya and stuff, then we went out own ways!

thai green curry chicken for dinner...mmmmmm.......

another view into the interesting and somewhat humorous life of darius huang~

sizzle~

2005-05-03T19:29:00.000+08:00

excuse me lady, you're hot;

rachel leigh cook ladies and gentlemen. i'm in awe~

Delivering Boxes For Guatemala!

2005-05-03T18:25:00.000+08:00

So my family's made like 25 boxes to put in Just Spectacles for people to donate their old glasses so mom can send 'em to Guatemala for the poor people there, so yeah, it took quite a while and yesterday was one of the days we were deliverin' 'em.

Anyway at Booragoon,(a shopping centre) while mom was havin' a coffee yeah, I went around cuz I was lookin' for a new keyboard and a new quik cap cuz my old one got all worn out and shit. Yeah so I was walkin' to the surf shop and I saw these group of 4 chicks and I was like starin' at the front 2 thinkin' about how hot they were with those skirts like...you know how there's skirts that's AREN'T EXACTLY SHORT? but they're long/short enough to make you WANT to see/know what's beneath? and gives you that huge craving? yeah, that was it. lol. ;p

then as i was walkin' past, one of the chicks BEHIND suddenly came into my face and said, "hi!!!" and i got all shocked cuz i was starin' at the front ones yeah, and i'm like, "heyyyy!" with that little flirtatious grin of mine, and they all giggled as we passed one another and i looked back at the same time they looked back and said to myself, "damn, she's probably a fucking slut but damn she's hot."

*sighs to self...*

and yeah, i got the cap.

still lookin' for a gamer keyboard with neon lights underneath it though. *grumbles*

oh and thanks chungs, thanks soooooooooo much. :D <3

May Day!

2005-05-01T21:15:00.000+08:00

Was May Day in Freo today, and there was the road parade and shit. Natalia was in the first batch of paraders that played instruments and she's such an attention-grabbing girl, *rolls eyes*, went to the front of the parade and shit showing off her stupid lil' small instrument. hahahhaha. but nah, it was good, really. :D her friend was hot too, and i'm told she's 19 or 20 so...that's even hotter. :D

this sudden fetish fer older, more open-minded women has got me thinkin' quite a lot really, i don't even know why i'm feelin' this way but hahahahahahaha. :(

okay uhm, a wave nearly killed me today. it was a really cold morning, then it got hot, and by late afternoon it got really fucking cold again, and the wind was sorta blowin' quite hard and there were lots of surfers at the beach too....but a wave nearly raped me cuz im a fucking careless cunt, zzz. oh well, lucky i hold my breath well, but still it was a fun day sorta, lol.

watched the movie ross noble, british comedian! rar...

ok i'm tired, screw this!~

gage might get unblocked. hmmmmmmmmmmm.................k gonna go rest a bit, and yeah, lol.

wordd?

2005-04-30T04:17:00.000+08:00

chinablack wasn't exactly what i pictured it to be. was pretty fun none the less~

btw black eye-liner is hot. =( [on a girl, that is]

and i miss my b151s. i want to get drunk again :P bourbon+coke doesnt even come close~

Sigh, Australia.

2005-04-27T21:02:00.000+08:00

Well, been in Aust a few days now, and yeah, 's hell fun lol.

For a start it's comin' ter winter, so it's sorta cold durin' the days, and ya'all know how I like dressin' up and shiz so yeah I could actually like wear long-sleeve jackets and stuff, and look at how other people walkin' around town dress up, damn's pretty sweeeeeet.

Been helpin' mom make some uhm, boxes and shitz for her upcoming project in Guatemala in Central America, so yeah hope that goes well and all, after all the fucking work I put into it. Back, shoulders, ankles and my never-failing-to-hurt right shoulder. *sighs*~

Oh and recently, well not really recently, but since quite a while back, maybe a few months, I've been getting more and more interested in older women...Yeah, older I mean like 3 or more years older. I don't know why, but the whole same age or girl-younger-than-guy relationship seems kinda farout and slow. I mean, girls my age are so conservative and not aggressive.

I love women that are extremely open-minded and aggressive. Women that KNOW how to play with flirting, and KNOW how to return my flirtatious remarks. Women that are ABLE to relate to my sexual chatups and are also able to return the remarks. Women that are creative, like in the ways they flirt or hit on me. Women that can challenge the fuck outta me and make themselves seem so hard-to-get, even though I know I got them in the palm of my hand. Women that TRY to gain control of the situation, and TRY to be the boss, especially in sexual situations, but damn well know that I still dominate the fuck outta them.

This basically eliminates all, or most Singaporean women, so that's an extremely sad thing for me considering I live in Singapore lol. So until Singaporean women are able to open up their mindsets and know how to have fun flirting, it's going to be a long boring life here.

loni~

goodnight

2005-04-26T01:54:00.000+08:00

fucking full to the max. HK hot pot = good shit. [pot as in steamboat]

random thoughts;

-pEoPle wHo tYpE lIke tHiS shOulD kiLL tHEmSeLvEs.
-hot girls are generally not very smart.
-smart girls are generally not very hot.
-if you're hot and smart please give me a call.
-vodka tastes like some kinda fuel.
-church is good.
-saying "church is good" for the wrong reasons is bad.
-i'm full.
-i'm semi-drunk.
-i'm having jet lag in hongkong, even though there's no time difference, and it has been like 12 days since i've arrived here.
-i sleep too much.
-i eat too much.
-i sleep straight away after eating too much.
-you are still reading this, you must be bored.
-if dracula and werewolf got into a fight, who would win?
-what?

k fuck. i'm done.

merry christmas everybody~

rightthurr

2005-04-21T18:39:00.000+08:00

hey look at that gurl right thurr~ HK chicks are hot period.

anyway i went to my bro's university today to check it out and to donate blood. yea seems like it's a pretty common thing to do here and *everyone* does it when they're in secondary school. well being the normal sane-minded person that i am, i didn't run to a hospital back in singapore to get jabbed and sucked. [No. don't even go there.]

but since i was already there at the university (which is really old btw. SP>HKUx100), i decided why not, since my brother has already done it and there's nothing wrong with donating some excess blood.

ok let me explain how it works. you lie down on a chair/bed thingy right, and they jab you with a relatively large needle and you lie there while blood flows out from your arm into a bag. after that they "close" the bag and drain a little bit more blood into bottle which are then sent to labs to be tested for aids or whatever diseases.

HOWEVER, everything went well for me up till the point where they close the bag. somehow the equipment had a little defect and blood just started coming out of the tubes after closing the bag. which means, no further blood could be used for testing as it has already been "contaminated". so, they had to jab another fucking needle in my other arm and draw blood just for testing. my first blood donation and i leave with holes in both of my arms. that's a story. ;(

randomthoughts

2005-04-20T00:19:00.000+08:00

a few random thoughts about HK;

.the chicks here are nice to look at. they dress well (sorry but mango tanktop+mini skirt is not dressing well), put on their makeup perfect (it's like you can't really tell whether they have makeup on anot, they just dap a little here and there to enhance their already good-looking features), and most of them have a kinda arrogant look at their face, which is pretty hot. =(

.people walk fast. i think i've mentioned this before, but i'm just gonna say it once again. aunties walk faster than me here. i don't understand what the rush is all about really~

.it's fucking packed. you'll be lucky to get on the train/bus/tram/whatever and have a seat. most of the time you'll be squeezed in between the heaps of bodies.

.sorta a combination of the two above points; people eat really fast in really packed eating places (i don't wanna call it a restaurant cause it's not a pretty sight). you can almost never sit by yourself if you enter the place alone. you'll be seated with a bunch of strangers and it's kinda awkward if you're not used to it. you order food, it comes within 5 minutes, you eat, you leave. that's lunching in HK for you.

.my brother still beats me in winning eleven, and trash talks oh-so-much-more-than-ever.

oh well. HK still rocks in its own charming way. it's like a huge magnet, just pulls you in. i do miss my bed thou~

fucking paiseh

2005-04-16T13:23:00.000+08:00

gosh. i've never been so drunk in my life before. have you ever drank so much that you don't (can't) really remember what happened?

here are the stuff which i DO remember (unfortunately) :

- going to lan kwai fong
- having my first drink in a corner pub (2 glasses of white wine)
- my brother ordering a round of barcadi 151 shots. (72.5% alcohol; that shit tastes like fire i swear)
- going to another pub, russian i think. they had a huge freezer room which you can enter and have vodka shots. think had 2 shots of pure vodka.
- going to yet another pub, this one with music pumping loud. perfect high at this point of time.
- had a shot with fire on it (seriously, the lighted it up with a lighter and you have to drink it thru a straw)
- had somemore shots which tasted like fire (barcadi 151s)

don't really know what happened next.. but it was something like :

- puking all over the pub (fuck i swear)
- getting chased out by the bouncer (so says my brother)
- being carried out by my brother and cousin (yea that adds onto the shame)
- getting sent home, puking in the cab (cabbie got fucking pissed)
- waking up with no shirt and jeans on the couch this morning

god. i thought i could handle my alcohol, but the 151s seriously fucks you up.

aftermath of SP concert

2005-04-10T18:51:00.000+08:00

Yea so i was at the Simple Plan concert held a little more than a week ago (30th March) at Suntec City, Singapore.

well i'm not gonna blog about it cause basically words like "totally kicked ass" and "rocked big time" doesn't even come close to describing it. you just had to be there to experience it for yourself. the bunny ears and 23485734985 people falling down on top of each other just added to the fun. =)

anyway before Simple Plan came out to play, Pug Jelly opened the show. (for you mountain tortoises out there Pug Jelly is a "local" band made up of a bunch of white guys, excluding the japanese lead guitarist. i heard they grew up pretty much in singapore and studied at SAS) to be honest i wasn't very impressed with them at first. well maybe cause i went there to see Simple Plan, and not them. was more or less saying to myself "wtf? get the fuck off the stage"~

yea but then i decided to give them a second chance and i checked out their website (www.pugjelly.com) and snooped around for a bit. i then listened to some samples to their songs and amazing this time round i actually liked it. so i did the unthinkable -

i went to HMV to get their album.

yes. me, mr download-from-internet-and-put-in-mp3-player me. i've probably bought less than 5 albums in my life. don't ask me why, but i just thought i would at least have the decency to spend that 19.95 to help promote local talents. :P hell if one day my band made an album, i wouldn't want people downloading our songs while our CDs get covered in dust. =(

when i got there i did have a little trouble making up my mind, cause directly above the Pug Jelly album was none other than the Simple Plan album! with bonus live tracks and special DVD features and w/e.

but then i just figured i would download them off the net. :((((((

contradiction2win.

anyway this is a pic of Pug Jelly's front man Sam taken on the day of the concert -

and this, i don't really know what's going on -

peas.

Alsaids, Hwarone

2005-04-06T20:51:00.000+08:00

Well, new area's out and already powerhunting it like a fucking retard.

Did 155k ap yesterday when it first came out, another 123k today and already got from ab13-15 rofl.

Yeah anyway got exams Friday, Monday and Wednesday so I've gotta take a 1 week break ALREADY lol. Oh well, time to go study and pass these stupid exams.

z~

chicks and handphones

2005-03-26T20:54:00.000+08:00

Okay, what the fuck is it with chicks and camera phones?

They should make a law in Singapore. "NO GIRLS ARE ALLOWED TO CARRY CAMERA PHONES IN PUBLIC" God damn it's FUCKing annoying.

yeah so yesterday i was at king albert park's mcdonalds studying right, and after being chased away from the tables beside the 'birthday area' cuz it was reserved(damn kids) i moved downstairs and studied facing the mcdonalds cashier yeah.

so i was studyin' management and all when i saw these 3 girls come along, and i didn't take much notice of them although they sat a few tables away. so of course i just continued studying yea.

after a while they started talking much louder, and giggling a lot, so i looked up and ho ho ho what do i see? 3 girls with their camera phones out taking pictures of 'one another'. then one of them puts the phone to her ear and PRETENDS to be talking. now girls, this is the MOST FAKE and PATHETIC way to take a photo of a guy k? it's hooooooorriblyyyyyy obvious so yah ditch that.

of course i don't wanna seem like an ass so i just keep looking at them and catching them so they have to stop and restart and think of new plans. then these 3 caucasians came and sat at the table RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. hahahahha i was like, "yay owned" and i heard a lot of commosion coming from them though i couldn't hear it.

THEN GUESS WHAT. THEY FUCKING MOVED TABLES LOLOLOLOLOLOL. ahahahhaha they MOVED so they could still fucking see me. like wtf? then they like walked towards me, threw rubbish away,(though i knew they wanted to throw a note to me on the floor, but they didn't!

so then one of the girl's took her phone, pretended to be talking on it and said "VENESSA LOVES YOU. YES SHE DOES." and i just smiled while still looking at my notes, and she went on to say, "YOU FIND US IRRITATING RIGHT, YEAH YOU HATE US." and i sorta just nodded my head a bit while still smiling hahaha.

then they like ran upstairs to try and take more pictures so i put on my cap and wore it really low such that it covered my eyes and they got so upset haha.

but finally i had to go cuz dad called so i started packing my shit and one of the girls ran over, dropped a note on my table, and i just looked at it casually, opened it and it said, "What's your name? My friend wants to know." so i just replied, and when i stood up to walk back to them, they all hid their faces and i found it so hilarious i just dropped the paper on them and walked off.

then they sorta chased me and stuff but i'm not gonna go there lol. :P

God. TODAY i went back to king albert again, and there was this group of NY girls where a couple, or actually, one of them was pretty hot but...nevermind. :P

then there was an 8year old birthday party going on right beside me. yeah, so happened i sat at another table that was right beside the birthday area again, sigh.

little kids running around chairs screaming for help like little chicks screaming for their regurgitated food. sigh.

yeah and after the party was over, there were like 4 female staff members still in there cleaning up sorta. and low and behold we get 2 of them, both wearing red, obviously the 'organisers' or 'entertainers' of the party, standing RIGHT beside the glass panel that was RIGHT beside me. and one of them even bent lower to sorta be on the same level as me.

and i'm just like, "right..." and i intentionally not look, although i kinda wanted to lol. yeah and then this girl stands with her back against the glass, and the other girl is taking a photo of her, and suddenly this girl moves to her left, leaving me in full view of the camera and i just looked back like "wtf" and bent down. then they both laughed and ran away.

GOD.

BAN CAMERA PHONES FROM GIRLS NOW PLEASE LEE HSIEN LOONG PLSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

Oh, and exams are coming, and I have no idea what to do for Statistics, so I'm seriously royally FUCKING SCREWED.

Sigh.

diesc

2005-03-23T08:47:00.000+08:00

i've just reached an all time low in my life - well maybe not the lowest, but it's pretty damn close.

if i had to name my biggest flaw, it would be me being so goddamn fucking apathetic. i don't really care about shit going on in my life, until something happens and it's too late to change it. i take life way too easily and un-seriously. it's not just at school, but it's at home too, with friends, even with you.

you know when i was in primary school, i used to play/slack/waste my day away doing nothing of importance and then panic the next day before going to school cause i didn't do my homework. i even faked being sick more than a few times just to get away with it. the fucked up thing is basically nothing has changed since then, except i realized when you get older, you can no longer get away with it anymore. and the worst part is when the panicky feeling starts to fade away, that's when you know you've turned into something horrible.

i honestly don't know what i'm going to do.

to you : my heart sank after reading your post. i really don't know what to say. i know it won't help but i am truly sorry. it's just all my fault-

brb killing self.

pop ya colla'

2005-03-22T23:11:00.000+08:00

I'm trippin' dawgs, my project's due,
if I fail this shit yo I be startin' anew.
Ain't no surprise I din' do 'em,
never gave no feelin' or care to 'em.
I'm a slacker ya'all, fuck creativity,
don't give a shit 'bout my poly stability.
Ain't important yeah, it only a GEM,
'Cares if I fail, I don' give a damn.
My home boys yeah they all done it good,
I'ma hustla niggers, I ain't in the mood.
So fuck this module it's so overrated,
I'ma get through this 'tho I barely made it.
So hup hup brothas rap is how I express,
my true feelins' fer big bouncy breasts!

The above was made in dedication to chung. <3

LADC auditions

2005-03-20T20:37:00.000+08:00

I QUALIFIEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yay, part of the LADC Hip-Hop crew now wheeeeeee!!! k, word, now sthu darius. fag.

After eating lunch at Jack's Place with dad & such, I was dropped off at Clarke Quay MRT at like 3 or some shit, so anyway I went into the studio and surprisingly, so many people remembered me and asked me where I'd been and I was just like, "uh, busy. :P"

Okay anyway after all the chitter-chatter and shit, there were like 50+ people that turned up for the audition and it was kinda scary actually. But I still just sat around with the original crew and all.

Then Alicia taught the freestyle hip-hop part, and I could NOT even see her, it was like wtf fucking packed with 999999999 people around, ugh. Anyway we had to do like a total of 9 sets of 8, and were given 10mins to practice it.

I was also one of the 6 to fucking perform in front of Lionel and Alicia, and I even fucked up a couple times, but apparently my 'style' was good. hee.

uh like after that alison and i were chatting outside the studio when amanda came up to me and was like, "hey darius, i know you're younger than me and all but...can i have your number?!" and she laughed and i laughed. it was pretty funny. yeah. she didn't get my number.

when everyone finished dancing and all we went back into the room and lionel started calling out numbers of thoes that qualified. it was realllllly scary and all cuz my number was #1 and he was saying numbers like this..

"number 36"
"number 37"
"number 38"
"number 46"
"number 47"
"number 48"
"number 2"
"number 3"
"number 4"
"number 5"

I was like, "ah, fuck."

then he went on and was like
"number 50"
"okay that's it, sorry to the rest."
"oh, wait(sarcastically), don't forget number ONE!"

he and alicia just stood there grinning at me and i stared back with the "grrrr, you guys suck" kinda face. and the crew was kinda like "yay" and all for me so it was really happy lala yeah.

then lionel kinda made fun of me again by saying "number ONE" last again when giving out the contracts. grrrrrr.

anyway yes i've got to go, im just so happy so happy rarara!

"Why?"

2005-03-17T23:57:00.000+08:00

Remember the times we were together?
when the world always had such good weather?
You cared for me, and loved me so,
when you left I felt this huge hole.
I felt so alone, so away from reality,
it hurt so much I nearly lost my sanity.
Why you left I still don't really know,
since then my life has been passing so slow.
I was left here to live life the hard way,
why could you not hold out and just stay?
I lie here now, as usual alone this night,
a simple call from you would make everything right.

But no matter what, I'm not feeling blue,
no matter what mom, I still love you.

Yeah.

Tonight.

2005-03-16T23:29:00.000+08:00

Some night, which night we don't know,
Without you I feel much colder than snow.
That night, the night I slept alone,
I felt the chill down to my bone.
Every night, the nights without you,
I think about our love so true.
This night, I feel you more now,
I gotta show it, I just don't know how.
The next night, the next night I feel,
Our hearts will tie strong with a seal.

diexiaxue

2005-03-13T20:27:00.000+08:00

i have to admit i spend a lot of mindless hours surfing the infinite random websites on the world wide web. anything from websites with tons of time-wasting flash games to blogs of people i don't even know.

i'm not sure whether you guys are aware of it, but several "famous bloggers" have surfaced recently from this very tiny little red dot. one of which is the blog by Xiaxue, which i happen to read from time to time.

before i go on any further, here's a pic of her-

now you might think she looks pretty good and is probably a nice person blogging about the wonderful events in life but nah-uh, ladies and gentlemen, i must say -

she's the biggest, most obnoxious attention whore i have ever come across in my life.

her latest 2 entries, which are both so god damn long i didn't really bother to read them all, are filled with bitchings on how a couple supposedly snatched a cab from her or some shit like that. the funniest thing is, xiaxue (who got intercepted from the front) actually went up to the cab while it approached and tried to open the door. man the mental image i'm having is hilarious.

you should go read her other blog entries, it's so sad/hilarious i don't even know where to begin.

the sad thing is, she has a gazillion supporters (most mindless guys) who back her up when someone posts even a single word against her point of view. sometimes she even shuts off the comment feature to "get rid of unintelligent comments". therefore i have decided, when i have the time, to flame her ass off, starting with her latest post.

i know i'll win. =)

SP Dance & Cheer 2005

2005-03-12T00:56:00.000+08:00

Singapore Polytechnic Dance & Cheer Performance 2005, Waves 9: A Magical Escapade.

Today Erdiana and I hosted the SP D&C performance, and it was simply magic. We wrote 90% of the script, practiced lots, watched the dancers dance(and yes some dances REALLY WERE good) and it was just so beautiful really, everything.

Yesterday, when I saw them all practicing I thought the entire thing was gonna fuck up, but today, it was simply perfect, and everything went right. There were a couple times I had to go out and entertain the crowd cuz the dancers weren't ready, but it was still fun, and my cheeky/foolish self still managed to keep the crowd going.

Saiu Chung: Man, happy fucking 18th. *fist across chest* zing dawg, imma be there too in 2 months. -smile- wait for me ya k tnx. <3 thanks for staying yesterday too, lol.

Diana: Thanks a lot for hosting with me. When nobody else wanted/could do it, you were there(not saying you're a backup:P) to help me out. It woulda sucked horribly to have had to do it all alone. And you were great, really. Thanks again. :)

Natasha: Your singing was GREAT, the dancing was great too haha. I was dancing backstage while listening to you hahaha. :P

Anyway, back to the D&C. Jasmine and Howie were really good in their acting, and Howie is SUCH a nice guy, he just has that whole 'likable guy' kinda look on his face. Unlike me, I was born with the 'cocky' look, which is pretty fucked up and unfair but whatever. Jasmine was good too, her dancing is excellent, but the rest were good too. (: My impression of the D&C team has changed COMPLETELY, thanks to this event.

Jasmine: I STILL THINK IT'S NOT FAIR THEY 'IMPORT' YOU FOR THEIR CONCERTS LOL. Good job anyway.

Wai yee: Yeah, we'll keep in touch. I know you owe us more thanks but haha, thanks for your patience with us anyway. :)

Max: Thanks for not fucking up anything related to me, even though you made me pressurised at one point hahaha.

Howie: You were great dude, seriously. Have fun graduating, you deserved it.

Eve (dancer): I still stand by my statement, it IS easy. :P

Clifford: Thanks for your comments man, and yeah, that fall WAS NOT really intentional. :P

To the rest of the SP D&C team: Thanks a lot. That event made me feel really great, and it was a great pleasure to watch and emcee for it. I kinda miss ya'all already. (:

Beautiful dancing. Beautiful event. Beautiful atmosphere. Beautiful night. Sigh.

And I end it now, with a poem I wrote on the long bus ride home.

Why I be trippin' yeah I don't know,
Feels like I been buried 6 feet under snow.
I remember back then when we were cool,
Lovin' you, only was my 1st rule.
You were weird yeah but you loved me so,
Everything about me, from head to toe.
Unsure we were, sometimes haha that was cute,
Whenever you spoke my heart just went mute.
Your hand was soft, smooth, and small,
Kinda guess that hadta make up for not bein' tall.
Head on my shoulder, best feelin' you had,
I know lookin' back makes you feel sad.
Every touch, every moment, yeah every kiss,
Sigh all of them I sure do miss.
Studied like mad, haha what a nerd,
Funny how you still were one sweet bird.
Where kids hung out we used to chill,
Girl for once you coulda took the bill!
Once or twice maybe we misunderstood,
We got over it better than any others could.
Coincidental things happened between us a lot,
I know you've given me more than just a simple thought.
I don't know really, I thought we were done,
But no, really, don't even you miss the fun?

pics

2005-03-11T21:33:00.000+08:00

pics-

ohnoes.

2005-03-11T13:01:00.000+08:00

booyakasha. waddup ma niggers. yo betta chek yoselfs befoh yo wrek yoselfs. badabingdingzing.

no seriously, hi.

today marks the 18th year since i popped outta my mum's [insert your own choice of word(s) for female gential]. it's a great feeling to be honest. i woke up this morning feeling mighty invincible, ready to step into and conquer the adult world. well not really :P. anyway just like to give a little shout out to all ma homies for putting aside a tiny portion of their already minute brains (haha jk) to remember my all important day. you know i love you guys ;D.

darius : *fist across chest*. word dawg~

natasha+diana : my darlings, thanks for being such great funky people and making time spent at compering events such a breeze. <3

alex : i know we had our differences but whatever, i aint grudging. thanks for having the beer with me at 12.30am this morning.

ian+ah xiang+edmund+jasper+alvin+kelvin : thanks for being such crazy mofos and your non-stop crappings. 21-

edward+rauf+zul+faisal+hozefa+howard+ho wa+ahamad+bryan : thanks for giving me a reason to wake up every morning for school. BUG 1A/25-

my parents+brother : although they probably will never get to see this, but i would just like to thank them for being the most awesome people in the world and having to bear with my shit for 18 years.

my bhss friends : yea i know we're all busy with our own shit nowadays, but i'm really touched by those of you who bothered to sms me.

you : thank you. gimme a call someday and we'll hang out k?

and most importantly, myself, for making it to 18 without any major screw ups. :P

hopefully i'll live past 21 and write another one of these 3 years down the road. i'm really happy with how things are at this point in my life. sometimes i wish i would realize how good my life is and cherish it even more.

k gonna go get some sleep. need to store energy for my madass drinking session tonight.

peasse.

EDIT: omg i forgot to thank one very important person, Mr Andyanto Kurniawan Alihadi. thank you for letting me have your student identification card right after Os. ;) nothing beats being "legal" 2 years early.

Tests

2005-03-09T21:13:00.000+08:00

DARIUS
D	is for	Dreamy
A	is for	Active
R	is for	Rebellious
I	is for	Impassioned
U	is for	Unnatural
S	is for	Sensual

What Does Your Name Mean?

That's me pretty much, yeah. Those 6 words descrive me pretty well, except for impassioned. =/

Then I did this, "What gender is your brain?" test and for fuck's sake I got this.

Your Brain is 86.67% Female, 13.33% Male

You have the brain of a girly girl

Which isn't a bad thing at all

You're emphatetic, caring, and in tune with emotions.

You're a good friend and give great advice.

What Gender Is Your Brain?

God. I'm a woman inside.

No notes for PACC so...

2005-03-07T23:55:00.000+08:00

Morning went by easy, got past my Accounts assignment with ease, thanks to the teacher. -grin- Then I kinda forgot to bring my notes for my Accounts lecture so I whipped out meh foolscape paper and began to write, about nothing at 1st, and somehow, it turned into this.

I never thought I'd be alone,
I always had you on the phone.
We talked a lot, I loved your voice,
Lovin' you was my greatest choice.
I look back now, and dream of you,
I'm just wonderin' where our time flew.
I was always your one faithful guy,
I loved you girl, yeah I ain't shy.

BUT FUCK IT ALL, YOU LET ME DOWN,
NOW I WANNA BURY YOU BENEATH THE GROUND.
YOU FUCKED MY LIFE, AND KILLED MY DREAM,
THINKING OF YOU MAKES ME FUCKING SCREAM.
THIS IS THE END, I FUCKING HATE YOU,
HOW MUCH YOU HURT ME BITCH, YOU HAVE NO CLUE.
AH FUCK IT, SCREW ALL THAT, IMMA SHOOT YOU BITCH,
CHOP YOU UP AND DUMP YA IN A FUCKIN' DITCH.

- Inspired, as usual, by Eminem.
- Written, as usual, by myself.

Yeah, you can rap it if you know how, then it'll sound way cooler. I'm on a roll of rap-writing now, my dad said I can make my own album soon if I wanted and he'd sponsor it, lol. So we'll see. -smiles-

Another random poem.

2005-03-04T23:51:00.000+08:00

I ain't fallin', yeah I ain't trippin',
I just don't know what's this shit I'm feelin'.
There's nothin' ya'all can say ter phase me,
I don't care if ya'all say I'm fuckin' crazy.
I say what I feel yo, I feel what I say,
I shout my heart out, every single day.
I don't care if you think imma prick,
Cuz everyone else thinks I'm cool 'n slick.

Don't be haters kids, just cuz I'm great,
I can't help bein' me, yeah go blame fate.
I'm above ya'all yeah, in every single way,
My mind's fucked up, but at least I'm not gay.
I live my life this way, silently in my hood,
I don't settl' fer anythin' less than a simple 'good'.
Ya'all don't know who I am, nobody knows me,
All of ya'all think I'm just the same ol' G.

Well, maybe I am.

1984

2005-03-01T20:52:00.000+08:00

i've come to realize that the 4 years of being in secondary school, is basically just so that you can pass (hopefully with decent scores) this one exam, the O levels. (same goes for those in NA/NT)

sure you make friends along the way. sure you have fun times doing crazy stunts which you will regret later in life. but the sole purpose of enrolling yourself into a secondary school is so that you may leave with a piece of paper at the end of it. you spend countless hours doing neverending homework and projects. you spend even more time on CCAs and extra school activities. you study differenciation and the structure of a human eyeball. all these just for a certificate which will later on allow you to be a 'successful human being' in the society of today.

it's crazy, i know.

therefore, why spend so much time on shit you aren't even gonna use later in life when you grow up? (unless you are actually planning to be a scientist/mathematician/crazy mofo) however, i'm not saying screw your studies all together. it is after all the system which we all HAVE to follow. trust me, you don't wanna go against the system, especially the education system of singa*cough*pore.

so, i say, it's all about studying smart. the fact is, you don't have to do all of your ten-year series and read countless study guides.

for secondary school -

choose your topics correctly. see how the past year papers are sat, and study those 'important' chapters which carry more marks than the others. go out and play with your friends more often. studying too much makes you a nerdy piece of shit. (no offence to any nerdy pieces of shit out there) and when you're done playing, which is likely never, freak out about the fact that exams are only 2 weeks away, and drag your numb-due-to-too-much-gaming hand and write yourself a timetable to assign what subject to study on what day. make sure you spread your subjects/topics/studying time out, and make sure you put in a few hours of sleeping/gaming/tv/going out inbetween those 1/2 hr blocks of studying. and then try to at least stick to 60% of your timetable.

oh and don't believe it when your parents/teachers/pets tell you that last minute studying aint gonna help. it helps ENORMOUSLY. i wouldn't be where i am today without last minute studying. studying on the train you take to school. study on the toilet while you're taking your morning dump. study right to the second when the examiner says "ok you may begin", and then just a little bit more before the examiner sees you and gives you a 0.

and for polytechnic -

choose who you're sitting next to during tests/exams correctly. make sure you are friendly with lecturers, even those who don't teach you, so that you can ask them for hints when you're stuck plus they will usually close an eye when you're whoring your paper around during a test. and trust me, don't fake sick on a day of a test/exam just because you didn't study, and then take the retest on a seperate day. it is ALWAYS better when there's a huge class of people taking a paper, especially those buggers in your same class. oh and last minute studying applies here as well.

those are just a few guidelines on how to study smart. they won't get you 10 A1s and a good testimonial, but at least they will get you somewhere decent. hopefully. if you call working night shifts on the corner of chinatown selling packet tissues decent. no seriously, i feel very strongly against people who spend more than 20% of their schooling days studying.

it's all about studying smart, baby.

P.S: don't come chasing after me if you do badly/fail. ;P

Random poem.

2005-02-28T23:31:00.000+08:00

And now for something, completely different.

You hurt me, and tear my apart,
I feel the pain, right in my heart.
Why do you do it, why do you hate?
This time I really do believe in fate.
I can't take it no more, it strikes me bad,
Happy outside, but deep down feeling so sad.
I must leave now, or my soul may perish,
But you I'm sure, forever I'll cherish.

UK Fun Fair

2005-02-26T23:44:00.000+08:00

GOD UK FUN FAIR WAS SO CHAOTIC LOL.

Okay relax, and slowly. Day went by kinda smooth and all, went to Shaw to get my CD back, or rather, Peiyu's CD back(haha tyty again) and then went to Novena to meet up.

We took MRT from Novena to Woodlands, which was pretty fucking far, but yeah, then went to the fun fair($2 admission fee) and kinda walked around really. The fun fair was like quiet, which was weird, for a saturday night, but then we realised that the rides were still fucking wet so lol.

Uh 1st ride we went on was called Air Force 1 or some shit, which was mad fucking fun and it was fast at one point that it made my mouth go bloobluuerbloobloobluer kinda shit, and it was really numb after that zzz, but felt fucking good. Head was pulsating and yes, it felt really good.

Then we kinda went on this fucking $15 ride called GFORCE which is like 20 storeys high or some fuck and basically spinned us around 4 at a time and we all were like screaming like fucking iraqis getting shot by Americans. AFTER THAT I WAS FULLY IN THE WHOLE, "Whoa, dude." kinda state, if you know what I mean, lol.

Then we went on some bouncing ride, which was fun, at first. But afterwards it bounced at one point(and cuz i wasen't holding on to anything) and I got suspended in the air, and came back down and landed on my legs....then my balls. then my ass. I froze for like a second, wanting to register the pain, then it made me jump again, and it happened again. well, i wasen't a very happy camper for those few seconds lol.

GOD, then we went on this fucking ride called Evolution, which made me feel like I was gonna fall outta my seat, then it suspended me in the air upside down and I felt like the fucking blood rushing into my eyes and I thought it was like gonna burst out and splatter all over the fucking carnival. I'm never sitting on that ride again, bleh. Thrill factor: 10, Fun Factor: 1

Lastly, we went on this Terminator shit, which kinda goes around in a clock kinda circle and it gives you the feeling like when you're in a car and you drive fast over a bump and it gives you this 'suspended' kinda feeling. Yeah it was really fun and felt good......THE FIRST TWO TIMES. ALL THE OTHER TIMES AFTER THAT FUCKING NUTS FELT LIKE THEY WERE BEING DRAGGED TO THE GROUND BY SOME WEIRD GRAVITATIONAL FORCE. KINDA FELT LIKE SOMEONE WAS *TICKLING* THEM. WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. I left that ride walking like a duck. A drunk duck.

Overall although I suffered pains on my shoulder, lower back, feet, and especially my nuts, I think all the rides gave me like an extremely elite thrill feeling and shit, and I don't regret paying the $40++ for it, hahahaha.

Ate MOS burger, was mean to one of the waitresses, took MRT to Somerset, saw couple of hot chicks along the way. -grin- bla bla in Somerset and came home!

I'm thinking of cutting my hair, but I really don't know.

It took me so long to grow my hair to the length it is now, but it looks soooo messy and there's really no style to it. Of course I have to let it grow longer before a style becomes evident but then I have this thought of cutting it back short to the spiky way it was which kinda, TO ME(okay all girls shut up about cockiness), seemed sexier, and more appealing. But I don't know just yet, maybe I'll give it 1 more month and see how it looks, and no I'm not asking any of you to suggest, I'm writing this for myself, cuz I don't give a shit what you want and what you think is better.

None of you can change me.

Random poem of the day!

You speak to me, I smile inside,
My true feelings I long confide.
So far apart we seem right now,
I'm still alive, I don't know how.
If only you were here, right with me,
All the answers, I might just see.
Why is life such, dealing me this hand,
When all I want is just to be under the sand?

hee

2005-02-26T02:50:00.000+08:00

Just got home not long ago, dad's not in Singapore, so I'm kinda, uh, having fun, yeah. Just on to blog quickly.

First I wanna comment on SC's previous post, the #1 thingy, I say "fo sho dude, barely any chicks are gonna get in bed wit' me cuz I don't like wastin' my time on unprofessional crappy girls that can't fuck for shit."

Anyway, hosting was fun 'yesterday'(Friday) and all, though I don't really like formal events, oh well. Got the SP Dance & Cheer shit from 8AM to 9PM on the 11th of March, which is gonna be pretty fucked.

Oh oh, ahahhaha ok ok im going im going i gotta go now bye! <3

hmm

2005-02-25T13:36:00.000+08:00

my "gonna attend each and every class" resolution lasted for about.. 1 1/2 weeks. just got mad lazy again this morning and decided to sleep thru. not like it's something new anyway. ;(

so i was browsing thru' friendster for a bit and i realized quite a number of my secondary school classmates+friends, especially those better off indonesians, are off to the opposite end of the world to continue their studies. melbourne, sydney, LA, seattle, vancouver.. blah blah blah. sometimes i wish i could have the opportunity to go overseas to study/live for a few years.

i want to go to sydney. i want to live in a big house with a bunch of crazy roommates. i want to party every weekend. i want to be filthy rich. i want i want i want.

is that really what life's all about? wanting the unwantable. i have therefore decided to make a reality check list to give you guys a simple list of facts which you will not be able to change no matter how hard you try. ladies and gentlemen, i present to you..

The top ten facts to bring you back to reality :

10) No matter how good your english is, or how strong your american accent sounds, you're still a chink. You'll never be treated as an equal in a foreign (white/black) country.

9) You'll never be a famous singer/actor/rockstar/[insert media related occupation].

8) You'll never be president. (Not even president of the Kachang Puteh society.)

7) You'll never be a billionaire.

6) You'll never be a millionaire.

5) If you are over 30, you'll get married to that only woman who seems interested in you (or that little money which you have hard-earned), and spend the rest of your life in misery.

4) If you are below 20, you'll get married to that woman (or teenage girl) whom you have accidentally impregnated because you didn't wrap your tool, and spend the rest of your life in misery.

3) You'll never fully understand the past 2 facts, cause they didn't really make much sense.

2) You'll never get to sleep with a real model/hot actress/porn star.

1) You'll never get to sleep with either me or Darius. =(

there we have it. don't you feel a sudden warmth of enlightenment and shudder of realization after reading it? the truth is, we'll probably live our lives as normal, ordinary people. but then again, it might not be such a bad thing afterall.

P.S: i have decided to write my blog entries in more of a column kinda style. it's just plain boring to list out the shit i've done the past few days. it gives me more fun writing it this way, and hopefully will take me awhile longer before i get bored of blogging again. ;P

dirtonmyshoulder~

2005-02-23T12:19:00.000+08:00

Okay I thought I was really stressed and shit yeah, but then I read SC's post and I was all like "Awwwwwwwwww cry me a river." ... nah, but really, I realised that I'm lucky enough that my dad pretty much leaves me alone and stuff and I do have a nice and proper room to myself, I realised that I havent' really been appreciating the stuff that has been given to me, whether it be granted by God or not.

I'm not gonna keep writing about my life and how great it is to show off or whatever, cuz that's not the reason why I post on my blog. But yeah, I'm sorry about all that SC, but I do feel ya brotha, I feel ya. I'm still here to help ya out if anything and stuff fer sure.

Anyway, on to other things. We were just at Lucky Plaza, and they have a nice pool place there, good chicken rice too. Hmmmm, yeah I'm kinda like in ITAB today, got a presentation to...present soon. lol yeah whatever. Vanitha's group is going up first....

Okay whatever I'm just gonna keep blogging, not gonna bother listenin' to em', zzzz. Okay sooooooo................Got MOB project due next week, IDEA project due in 3 weeks, Economics test this friday, which I'm taking an LOA for, and yeah yeah okok hmmmmmm....Hosting a formal event at the Auditorium this Friday ahhhhh.......

blEh I can't really think of anything to say now, too much shit going on omggg...I need something or someplace to relax.

Maybe my room. Later.

dirtoffmyshoulder

2005-02-21T21:55:00.000+08:00

I've been living under a ton of dirt and i've only just realized it.

there's way too much shit going on in my life, some of which i am not even aware of. my parents are pretty much back to the way they were when i was in primary 5. my mum just asked me who are the people i hang out with nowdays. she then proceeded to ask where they're from, whether or not they are still schooling.. etc etc. this kinda shit just pisses me off. i think i am old enough to decide for myself what to do with my life. i know they are probably concerned and worried that i'll somehow fuck up (and i assure you they are certain that i will) , but so what if i really do? i think my parents can sometimes go overboard with this whole responsible parenting thing. i mean it's cool when i was younger, and i do owe them alot for bringing me up the way they did. but come on, i can't be nagged at for the rest of my life.

and about me fucking up - i don't know why, but most people see that as a really bad taboo thing to happen. of course in an ideal world i would like to go through my entire life without fucking up at all, but guess what, fucking up aint necessarily be a bad thing. i wouldnt be where/what i am today without the occassional fuck up. it's good to fuck up sometimes, for it allows you to beware the next time in order to prevent repeating the same mistake, and how to pull yourself up afterwards. i always get this feeling my parents think i'm a failure. my mom+dad got so fucking worked up when i received a couple of warning letters from SP. my dad even threatened to take me back to HK.

this isn't the first time.

what's a couple of warning letters if i can bring back decent results? what's going home a little later if i can wake up the next morning for school? what's a little fuck up every now and then if i eventually turn out as a useful person in the society? what's teenhood without some fun?

my parents expect too much from me.

another thing i've just realized is that my room is in a fucking queer state. if you've ever been into "my room", or rather more appropriately the room which i sleep in/use the computer, you'll realize it's filled with shit which are not mine. for some reasons my dad installed 3 fucking huge bookshelves and a cupboard just for books in this room. 95% of the books on them belong to my dad. 2% = my mum's and probably 1.9% my brother's. it's really pathetic. stuff in the drawers and cupboards are not mine. clothes in the closet are not mine. stuff under the table are not mine.

basically all i have in this room is the computer and a bed, which i can't say exactly that they belong to me. fuck it, nothing in the house is mine. can't blame me for wanting to spend more time outside.

but of all the things, the one thing which pricks my ass the most is the fact that i don't have time for you. =( i aren't sure what to do anymore.

*huge sigh*

anyway it'll probably take a few days before i forget the pathetic state i am in, and pretend to put a smile on my face, and continue living under the ton of dirt.

madfunny

2005-02-18T16:54:00.000+08:00

Uh lol. Today's afternoon class, my General Elective Module(GEM) class was soooooo funny I left the classroom fucking crying.

It all started with Siu Chung staying over, and us waking up at 7am and like dragging ourselves outta bed and shit, got to school at 8:10am(10mins late) and I was the 3rd person in class, gg.

1st 2 lessons were pretty boring, and in the 2nd tutorial the teacher was like telling us(my group) to shut up and Joyce was like, "Darius is showing off his leg hair!" and I was like "what the fuck?" in my head, and the teacher said, "Come to the front and display your leghair to the entire class then Darius." I was pretty pissed cuz Joyce was pretty queer for making up shit like that so I had, "Yeah...You'd believe this stupid bitch." Teacher kinda was like "Hey! No vulgarities in class." and everyone was staring at me cuz they're all so conservative, blEh.

After that Hirzi, Khairul and I shared a pizza at FC5, with Farahan and Joel eating KFC, and at 1pm Khairul and I went for our GEM lol~

Man there's this nerdy dick in our class, that sat right in front of me, and Khairul was basically making fun of him the entire time. God I can't even begin to write what he said and the stuff he said, but us 8 guys kept laughing the entire lesson and the teacher didn't really even mind.

It was funny when the teacher started talking about feelings and said, "Okay give me a few examples of some feelings. Happy? Yes that's one. Angry? Yes."

"Cher cher! HORNY!!!"
"Horny? Okay that too. Now tell me, what causes you to feel Horny?"
"CHEEBYE LAH!"

She basically kept making jokes and laughing along with us, it was pretty good and slack hahaha.

Promotion & Demotion of seats. HAHAHA KHAIRUL. (For my own reference in the future lol.)

Okay I'm tired, gonna sleep and might go out later, FRIDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Hug.

zzzzzz

2005-02-16T23:52:00.000+08:00

I feel like fuck, really. My stomach hurts, my eyes hurt, my head hurts, my shoulders hurt, my body feels like it's gonna fucking break apart.

Su and Siu Chung are doing the SB Talentime 2005 Finals tomorrow, and I'm gonna go watch and support them, yeah.

Jesus I need sleep, k just wanted to stop by and say hi really, and give a 'woopidooda' to SC for blogging again. word.

Oh yay finished FrontPage today, only 9999 more projects to go.

Yes Joyce, Yes Chiew Ting, I do nearly scold the word 'fuck' nearly everyday, but so what? Lay off the Singaporean conservatism that society has drilled into you.

~

heartbreakhoe-tel

2005-02-15T20:23:00.000+08:00

hi it's me again.

this is the epilogue-

there's something strange and mystical about this period of time surrounding valentine's day. why is it so that couples seem especially close, more loving, like they're forced to do so by cupid or else they'll forever be condemned and cursed to have babies with no gentials. (figure of speech)

like i've said in my previous post, i used to be just like that.

if you truly love a person, everyday should be valentine's day.

true things were simple in the past. but that was all in the past. relationships could have survived (more or less) without commitments. i did not have to worry about studies, friends, parents and tons of other external factors, for my world just revolved entirely around her. while that might seem sweet and loving, it is unfortunately utterly childish and somewhat stupid. i'm gonna repeat this one more time - i'm afraid i'm no longer the innocent puppy loving kinda guy.

honestly speaking, i still do not have the experience and knowledge to say that i know what it takes for a relationship to work. but at least i have more of an idea of what it's about. i can no longer give you 100% of my time and effort. all i can give you is 100% of my heart. i can't stop you from thinking what you're thinking. and i don't blame you.

what i'm trying to say that while i do miss being commitment-free, i am fully aware that those times are no longer possible. as for whether or not i am actually willing to commit, i'm afraid i can't give you a direct one-word answer.

i'm not trying to run away from anything. i'm trying to run towards something.

but it's just been a long time since i've gone running.

~

P.S: if you think this post was mushy or whatever, fuck off. ;(

happy(or so we think) v.day

2005-02-14T17:40:00.000+08:00

The beginning of love is the end of happiness.

That's an old Chinese saying, mmmmmmm. It's not like I'm against love, or against relationships, or against guys liking girls and girls liking guys. I'm all for it. I just find slight humor is these male/female jokes, but really it dosen't affect me internally so don't worry. :P

However, I have a few beliefs, which to you may sound lame/queer, but as you've guessed before, I don't care what you think cuz it's me. Anyway,

For one, I feel that if you really love whoever it is, EVERYDAY would be a Valentine's Day for you and you don't need some superficial day made up for shops to earn more money because this is one of the times in the year that such shops have bad business.(Yes, it's true. They make v.day, father's/mother's day and other days TO INTENTIONALLY BRING BUSINESS INTO SHOPS.)

Then again, it's not that I'm against it, I still find it sweet, but I really have gone wayyyyyyyy past the stage of "omg i love you i love you here are 9999 flowers for you plz take a glance at me. ^.^" kinda crap. That's really for the high school people and stuff, ugh. I'm glad I never really was into it all that much, but then again, maybe I missed out, sucks.

I don't quite believe in v.day really, but I guess is somewhat sad, but then again maybe it's because I don't really have a girlfriend, and it's not something that she would like DEMAND and would get all upset about cuz I am 'insensitive' or whatever.

Jesus, I'm not the most sensitive guy in the world, I have just enough to care about girl's feelings and stuff,(though sometimes I may go overboard cuz I'm human) and I'm also not heartless at all, I do care about people, though I may seem somewhat mean.

Thing I don't like about v.day, is it brings out all those LOVESICK puppies that are like "OMG I LOVE YOU" but it's just a frickin' superficial saying(in most cases) and the couples look soooooooo queer/lame while they're all over each other like flies to shit, ugh.

I guess I'm just more into the relationship where we both acknowledge each other, both love each other, but don't act like love-sick puppies, kinda more like the relationships you see older, mature people having, WITH AN ELEMENT OF TEENAGE FUN, OF COURSE. Can't lose my childhood. :P

Anyway I just got home after being in town and shit having fun and all hee...Gonna go out later tonight again I guess, after I have dinner with family.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

manwhore.

2005-02-14T12:19:00.000+08:00

hey guys. how's everyone doing?

this is one of those rare moments where i decide to blog something, so read each word carefully. read each word 3 times if you will.

i'm sitting at computer R3-06 of the SP library.

it's Feb 14th.

again~

you know it's funny how a couple of valentine's days ago, probably back when i was in sec1 and sec2, i got so excited over this very day that i probably lost slept over it. i would get presents for my crush days (maybe weeks) before the actual day itself. i was innocent. i was happy.

not that i'm not happy now. just that things were so much more simple and easy to handle. no committments. no worries. sometimes i think about the times i would msg pf the whole night and think about her for sometimes hours before i go to bed, only to completely ignore (more like too shy to talk) her the next day at school. it was so pure, and so sweet. i guess things ended exactly the way they were meant to end.

after reading a certain person's blog, i had this morbid realization that i can probably never get that kinda feelings back. like i've said before - things change, people change. i'm afraid i'm no longer the innocent puppy loving kinda guy. if i had to label myself, i would probably paste a huge "whore" sticker on my forehead.

i know i'm not really making any sense. but whatever~

anyway CNY was fun as fuck this year. you know when i was young i was so fucking shy i wouldnt even dare to take ang baos from strange aunties and uncles. but somehow my thinking has evolved into "RM$10 for saying "Gong Xi Fa Cai", why the fuck not?" i chatted with my relatives like never before. i went crazy with my cousins. and i wore the same pair of boxers for 2 1/2 days cause i extended my stay. there's just an unspoken bond between relatives. i can't really put my finger on it.

i guess i'll be spending more time in malaysia and hongkong from now on.

oh well, gonna go grab a bite at FC3.

P.S: Happy Valentine's Day, motherfuckers. :P

Chinese New Year.

2005-02-10T11:17:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year all. Really busy now, and in a rush, so take it easy ya'all. :)

Taufik in SP

2005-02-05T23:08:00.000+08:00

Taufik was at the convention centre in Singapore Poly today. He looked pretty queer with those tight tapered brown pants and huge brown SUNGLASSES INDOORS. But well, Pravin and Natasha were hosting the event and the rest of us were kinda like chillin' at the side and, unfortunately, in front of 5 fucking minahs.

Here's a pic of what Taufik looked like when he was in Singapore poly, rofl fucking mat nerd.

It was NOT funny AT ALL. Lucky I had a ski cap and could muff out much of the "TAUFIK I LOVE YOU" screams and bullshit like that. I was the cameraman, sorta, but I coulden't even move cuz once Taufik was on stage everyone was like in front of the stage so I was just like fuck it and sat on the floor beside the rest of my friends.

Anyway Su got his autograph and Ricky somehow claims that Taufik blew Su a kiss, but whatever. :( I wanted to go to Taufik and say, "Hey, my idol used to be Usher too...Until you won the competition." ):

Before Taufik there were the drumbs, which blew royal cock. And the Dance & Cheer Team, which actuallly looked like they were MADE to blow cock. But then just before Taufik they had the Indian Cultural Society dance that was sooooo elite. They were like doing some Bollywood dancing that seemed very similar to hip-hop and the ENTIRE crowd was cheering them on like white men cheering for niggers to be their slaves. Yeah.

After the whole event and shit the few of us went to Orchard to eat at Marche, which was kinda quiet surprisingly. Saw a couple people we knew and stuff and poor Nat broke down and cried and told us about how she broke up with Julius yesterday, awwwwwwwww, you'll get over it, relationships aren't that painful. ;p

Anyway I don't have much time, sisters are back and they wanna go out clubbing.

Abby-> Don't be sad. ;)

Cheryl-> Shoulda joined mmsp! Hahahahaha

Diana-> Sorry I coulden't be there for your Spinnovax and you coulden't join us, but I'll still, uhm, yeah, you know. ;p

Jason-> It's okay dude, she played you out, you can get over her in time. :)

Krystal-> Where's my coffee? :(

Pravin-> Loved your hosting today man, absolutely brilliant. AND ITS OKAY YOU DIDNT COME TO MARCHE WITH US DONT BE SO SAD.

Random friend who helped save me seats-> Thanks, lol. =p

Ricky-> Man I can't believe Angel told you that, that's so fucked up.

Su-> You love Taufik too much, he's not THAT great! :P

Tengming-> I'm really glad you got rid of that crap. lol.

Natasha-> You'll get over him in time, for the better too I guess. ;)

Ning-> Was great being with you today, and talking to you, I'm sad to see you go. :(

Slow Dance...

2005-02-02T23:37:00.000+08:00

This is for all you nerds and queers out there that take life so seriously and

can't learn to slack and relax. Aight this is for you. Read it like it's a rap.

Tag your comments if you wish, they'll be greatly appreciated. Thankz~



SLOW DANCE



Have ya ever watched kids

On a merry-go-round?

Or listened ter the rain

Slappin' on the ground?

Have ya ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?

Or gazed at the sun inter the fadin' night?

Ya better slo' down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Do ya run through each day

On the fly?

When ya ask, "How are ya?"

Do ya hear the reply?

When the day is done

Do ya lie in yer bed

Wit' the next hundred chores

Runnin' through your head?

Ya better slo' down

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

Have ya ever lost touch,

Let a good friendship die

Cause you never had the time

Ter call and say, "Hi!"

Ya better slow down.

Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.

The music won't last.

When ya run so fast ter get somewhere

Ya miss half the fun o' getting there.

When ya worry and hurry through yer day,

It's like an unopened gift....

Thrown away.

Life is not a race.

Yo take it slower

Hear the music

Before mah song is over.







Yes, it was written by me.

Shall We Dance?

2005-01-30T20:56:00.000+08:00

Had fun at Bishan again today, hee. I nearly yelled and bashed this kid that rushed in front of me to take the seat at the food court but we found a table right beside him so it was okay in the end. :(

Don't really wanna say much about today, just that it was a great day at J8 and.......

My sister is coming back tomorrow! nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu God help me! *grumbles*!

Bleh, oh wellzzzz....whoever cares for me gimme a silent prayer tonight kty.

luv ya'll

Cable!

2005-01-29T23:20:00.000+08:00

Aight I wanna be really quick tonight, cuz I'm as tired as a fucking russian whore on crack.

The 2nd hosting on Wed was pretty fun too, did it for the 1st time with Diana, lol......Yes, yes. :P~

Thursday we had our training for all the new comperes, it was kinda fun too cuz we had to run around the room like little Iraqi children begging for food coupons. Anyway, SC and I did a sorta funny passage too, all about Slim Shady and shit. That went pretty well, think everyone's gonna be accepted into the club pretty much haha. Well, I HOPE THEY ARE. Yeah after the whole thing I left poly with Diana while the rest went their own way.

Friday was our last hosting, was pretty fun as well but it was SOOOOO TIRING cuz we didn't have a break and it was CONTINUOUS contestants......UGH. And we had to keep stalling time cuz the fucking laptop kept breaking down and Jonathan hardly looked apolegetic at all haha. (yeah still waiting for ur national anthem. :P)

Ken wasen't there, which kinda made the whole 'breakdown' even more disastrous cuz ppl like Ming Jie had to handle it, ahahhaha j/k. :P

Cheryl did a great job too, well, she did a great job the entire week to be honest, haha. thankss cher! ;)

thank you judges toooo, shirley, especially, you were great! jason too....*cough* diana *cough* haha. thank you to natasha and victor for supporting tooooooooo ahahah.

ANYWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.... after the last day of prelims I, well, both Diana and I, were sooooooooooooo tired omgggggg...........I coulda like fainted right there kay, I had to kinda lie down, nevermind. Lemme skip this lol. omg victor thank you for the guest pass into zeuk. actually, lemme skip the whole of friday lol.

TODAY, omg dad had cable installed! Yay now we have cable tv and starhub cable internet 1500! wheeeeeee~

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. MY FUCKING .......FUCKING WHAT THE FUCK, WHATEVER THE FUCKING THING, OH YEAH, PIPE......IT FUCKING BURSTTTTT.......

I woke up this morning, after, of course, being awoken by SOMEONE at 7:30 IN THE FREAKING MORNING.... jumped outta bed, expecting to land on soft comfy carpet.....Instead, I landed onto this squishy squashy section of....female fat. or so it seemed.

so here we are, no water supply into the house, and we don't get water until wednesday or some fucking nonsense like that. jesus. so after i piss or shit i gotta fill the toilet up MANUALLY with water from a PAIL! whoa elite.

and if i wanna shower, i gotta do it malay style, MANDI! take buckets of water and splash it over myself like a zoo cleaning a horny elephant. well maybe that was the wrong term but i can't be bothered i'm way too tired.

peace out niggerssssss~